[Life In A] Box of Chocolate

2012-01-15T18:47:00.011+08:00

It is the end of the first week of school. Many more readings to catch up on as compare to other semester as I am taking up the more intensive thinking courses. Other than that, using some of my free time searching for jobs through my school portal and looking up for career talks session. Feel so much like procrastinating but the gloomy economic outlook does not signal anything positive either.

Is finding someone who has a sincere heart that makes you feel secure that difficult? While you are the over-achieving one who has many aspiring plans in life and at overseas, I just want someone who leads a simple and less over-complicated life.

My friend posted this MV quite some ago on FB and I really think it is a well created MV that connects well with the song and lyrics. Liang Wen Yin's I am not that courageous as you think. 梁文音 (我不是你想像那么勇敢). Click to watch.

In a life's journey, we will sometimes lose part of ourselves or an object along the way. If I had lost courage and strong will in life, can I find it at the Lost and Found information counter?

听了田馥甄所唱的歌，心里有好多感触。过了那么多年，我最终还是真心真意要你过得幸福。所有错误从我这里落幕，而我会把与你度过的每一片美好回忆永恒惦记在心里。谢谢你让我感受到被爱的甜蜜滋味，谢谢你爱过了我。

Watched this animated dvd movie that comes free from a magazine subscription. It brings me closer to Buddha and his life story. An inspiring story of one of the greatest teachers in history which is filled with compassion and wisdom. The Buddha, directed by Krismant Wattananarong.

2012-01-01T19:22:00.005+08:00

My final holiday break is about to end soon. It will be my last long holiday before entering the workforce.

Spent the last day of 2011 with my godsis and her family. Playing with her 2-years old daughter made me so happy and I just wanted to provide her with everything within my means. It also made me ponder on whether I will want to start a family and take up the responsibilities of being a mother and a wife. After dinner near Chomp Chomp area, I headed for countdown with a bottle of white wine and great view overlooking the harbor.

Sometimes, I think I am too much of a freedom-seeker that I detest being tied down by anyone. I want to do things and explore places without informing anybody and at my own free will. I guess nobody can ever pull the reins over me and if he or she is able to do so one day, this person must have captured my heart. So, the question is whether over the years to come, I will want to step into a relationship?

At times, even I myself am afraid of who I am. Not that there is any existence of DID, but when I choose to seek freedom or independence, I will want to be isolated from the rest and choose to disappear from the stifling crowd.

Over the previous year, I did stuffs that I previously had no courage of doing. While there are usual up-and-down, every year is a time to learn and gain new experiences and knowledge. For this year, I set aside resolutions as I take the bolder step to transition from a student to being a potential OL.

Study and Career
Financial Planning
Family, Friends and Loved Ones
Tone my body (Achieving toned arms)
Being Closer with my Religion

Nom nom mum mum..eating my bowl of strawberries

Tech-savvy! Touch screen to the max. Future career women in the making.

2011-12-18T16:05:00.005+08:00

Recuperating from the wound of my wisdom teeth. Many plans were stalled and time was mostly spent on the bed. The first day was the most terrible as I had a bout of vomiting spell after consuming the medicine. It was a grossly mess and drinking water was another task. But things improved and the wound is healing. With one more teeth in a risky position, the dentist refused to extract it and I am left with the option of seeking more professional opinion.

My HK group mate and buddy has returned to HK and is asking me to visit his country soon. Looks like I will be having a tour guide to introduce me to more good food and shopping deals when I returned. It was quite a "cross-cultural" experience for my project as this time, we had group mates from Spain, Germany and HK. The Europeans complained that local food is too oily and consist of little raw vegetables (they like salad) and the HK complained about the long waiting interval for trains and smaller portion of local food.

With the recent triple breakdowns of our local transportation - the railway, it has invited the public intervention of the Committee of Inquiry which has only conducted two public questionings so far.

Social media has mainly painted a negative picture of it and there is huge public pressure for its Chief Executive to step down. It is appalling to realize shoddy routine checks of the railway surfacing and feeble attempts of service recovery prior to the second breakdown..of which was later greatly rectified. If we take a look at PA system of railways in HK, they are announced in Cantonese, Chinese and English and staffs are stationed adequately to facilitate even minor problems such as in my case, unable to locate the control station and accumulating enough railway reward points for a free single-journey to Disneyland.

While it is quite first-dimensional to blame the highest person in position for such serious disruptions, I believe what the transport analysts had said is right - to learn from operators in other cities (rather than continue pointing fingers). A public transport that has so many stakeholders involved requires good management style, empowered employers and org communication that efficiently facilitates its structure. Of course, I will want all repair works to be done faster haha (although the technicians and engineers have to work even harder..salute them) so that my traveling plans will be least affected.

2011-12-11T16:30:00.006+08:00

At a time when I falter and question myself, I receive kind words from some of my friends. Although they are just a few, but I am already satisfied. They gave me the encouragement and perhaps they might not know, they actually provide me with assurance that the path I am walking on is worth it.

One late night after there was no bus and train, I was flagging a taxi and the taxi driver uncle mistook me as a Chinese national (PRC). Even when I tried to correct him, he was still bewildered until I started speaking in Singlish and he switched on the car's interior light to clarify. But jokes aside, I am still sort of cheena and I like Chinese philosophy and history. They are so rich and deep in meaning.

Took a Chinese history and political class many months ago and I like how Lao Tzu says about been satisfied with oneself. In chapter 33 of the Tao Te Ching, it says:

知人者智，自知者明。胜人者有力，自胜者强。知足者富。强行者有志。不失其所者久。死而不亡者寿。

Loosely translated in English: Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing oneself is enlightenment. Mastering others requires strength. Masters oneself requires might. He who is satisfied with his lot is rich. He who acts with vigor has will. He who continues with the requirements of his position will endure. He who lives out his day has had a long life or longevity.

I think many times in life we will only come to appreciate what we have and enjoy the richness of life when we come to understand the meaning of being satisfied with our own lot.

2011-11-13T18:05:00.009+08:00

It has been raining cats and dogs these past few days. Having a cup of hot drink or tea and listening to some soulful music are the best remedy to keep me awake.

I don't know whether I should feel sad or question the flaws in my character, but I have never felt so overwhelmed with such emotions that it sort of demands self-reflection. When I was younger, it was just purely of "I don't want to friend you," but now it is more of a "oh..that bitch." From my previous posts, I did mention about these few ladies whom I have met in my summer study trip.

With powerful social media and constant FB updates, even if you have no intention of intruding their lives, you are bound to accidentally read/see their comments/photos and the plain fact is they are excluding you from whatever activities they are doing "loud and clear". Not that I will fancy joining them too and I could have ignored their amateurish moves, but I just wonder what I am as a friend to all of my existing friends? What is my first impression?

Heard this rendition of Jayesslee's cover on dare you to move as a dedication to the people of Thailand. I remember listening to this song in the movie "A walk to remember." A slow and poignant movie that reflects the innocent teenage romance. What should I say? These girls are mesmerizing and I am in love with their sincere singing voice. Pray for the people in Thailand's flood!

An old album - Corrinne May's Shelter. What I want to achieve as a friend? Just as the song says, "I'll listen when nobody gets you, you don't have to be alone. Promise me that you'll call my name..let me be an answer cos' it hurts me to see you this way..I wanna ease your pain..let me be your shelter, my friend." If only every friendship can endure the evolving dark side of humanity and be a warm shelter to every friend in need.

2011-11-06T16:31:00.007+08:00

Without proper mindfulness, the greatest sufferer is myself. When a person experiences happy encounters, greed and lust set in. You want more of it, yet you are afraid that they will be gone soon. However, when a person experiences setbacks, self-serving bias kicks in. How many failures does a person need to gather in order to be successful? It took Thomas Edison 3000 attempts. Mistakes are made but lessons are learnt. When similar mistakes are made, who are we to blame? A question that haunts me.

Sometimes I gazed upon the brightest speck of star in the dark sky or the moon by the window, thinking of you. It has been 5 years since you were gone and I say a prayer that you are happier. Free from the sufferings and smiling. On this special week, I dedicate a poem to you..from my favourite poet - Max Ehrmann's Song.

The night is here and through the sky
the stars are creeping;
The tired day has closed its door;
My heart is sad and I am weeping;
I see her face no more.

"Oh stars," I cry, "send out
within your golden gleaming
This message to my only love.
Perhaps she, too, is sitting dreaming,
With eyes that look above:

"Here, dear heart, how often
I've sat in summer weather,
Alone with stars and dreams anew;
The stars will bring us yet together,
I breathe a prayer to you."

2011-10-09T18:23:00.002+08:00

And then my one-week break is over. It was busier than I had expected with more project meetings and commuting to school more frequently than any other weeks. Other than lessons, at least I managed to watch a couple of rented DVD movies, catch a few good dramas, and had ample sleep over the weekends in my scarce yet adequately sufficient spare time.

Well, I also did enjoy good old times with poly friends. Had dinner at Lao Beijing (where's my Peking Duck??), chill over beer at Mt. Emily, and had almost a buffet dinner at Sushi Tei.

I felt so much like a grumpy pregnant woman earlier this week, probably due to PMS symptoms. My mood flared up to such high levels over the earlier week that I almost had the tendency to curse people. But such negative mood is never a means to see things objectively, and I do admit that I have overreacted.

It's good to know that people and friends are also supporting you when you are merely sleeping 4-5 hours each night. Despite of any religion, I felt tranquility and motivation when friends send sweet sms or quotes to perk me up.

I love this one the most. How true can it get when I felt so much in a daily rat race. Click on picture below to enlarge.

2011-09-11T19:50:00.008+08:00

Been listening to emo songs these days. Not because I am literally being in an emo state, but that emo songs sometimes relate to your own personal experience or the singer sings it with such emotion that it somehow has the "stickiness factor" in your mind and evokes such melancholic sentiments.

Well, as the semester progresses, I am still feeling quite stressed despite taking fewer modules. Perhaps you would ask me that how could this be? There are many factors - mainly personal pressure, the need to spice up my resume, more challenging coursework, etc.

Heard this at Tseun Wan's Neway Karaoke previously. Was on my way back from the toilet when I heard someone singing this song. I almost had the urge to barge into that room and asked, "What song is this?" If I had done so, it would be another story. And so the story ended that I didn't intrude into that room and it took me so long just to find out the song title and singer.

Janice 卫兰 - 大哥 (Elder brother). The MV explains how a female has a secret crush on her best male friend, but the male friend treats her as his little sister all this while. It is now in repeat play mode in my music player and sometimes, it just bring tears for some nonsensical reason. Truth is, 我都系不需要大哥啦！可唔可以忘记辈份再追？ The lyrics are meaningful.

Another song is Mag Lam 林欣彤 - 洗澡 (Bathe). The MV explains the painful experience of a relationship breakup to the extent that the female metaphorically, does not bother bathing, grooming or eating. I think this song has demonstrated Mag's powerful vocal and has also blended well with the song melody.

2011-08-21T19:28:00.003+08:00

It's the first week of school and I am slowly adjusting back to the life of a student who needs to keep up with her readings, deadlines, and the daily routine of taking the long bus and train rides. Every time when I return to school, I will always realize how small a fish I am in this big ocean. But sometimes, maybe it's just fine being who you are.

I guess I am getting older and my metabolism is getting slower. The local night life scene doesn't excite me anymore..or rather there's this feeling that it doesn't sort of have the similar zest or excitement as in LKF. Ahh..I should just stop comparing all together..it's bad! Eating a little too much fried or high carbo food will end up with a bigger tummy or slight weight increase. No longer is it the times when I can binge on my favorite food without bothering about its after-effects. I have always admired Sammi Cheng for her fit body and strong drive to work out at the gym. Perhaps I should sign up for a gym aerobic package next time..when I have the money though haha.

It has been an eventful week. Met up with sec friends whom I have not met for 5 years. Can you imagine 5 years? Had a sumptuous and fun dinner at Hard Rock Cafe and they even attempted to "sabo" me by asking the live band to sing a birthday song to me. In the end, I broadcasted my thoughts through the microphone. Over the weekends, met up with poly friends for an expensive dinner treat at Brewerkz and had a great chillout session with all of them. Then had a simple and closely-knitted lunch with YJ and LH where we all had a heart-to-heart talk today.

2011-08-14T19:14:00.004+08:00

It is the end of the summer break and the start of school again. Each semester has different challenges and the mad cycles of rushing for meetings and deadlines continue. As each semester progresses and being part of human nature, I will reflect upon myself and compare myself to other peers on setbacks, achievements and experiences. The route to learning and gaining new experiences is never ending and as compare to many of my other peers, my achievements and experiences are considered mediocre.

As everyone will soon enter the new phase of their lives - career, what differentiates myself from the rest, what will make employers hire me and what value-added capabilities do I have in order to serve the organization? I guess these are all strong and pending questions that loom in my head constantly and something that I should correct on. I know that many of them will be receiving a higher pay checks or even bonuses than me. With only me supporting my parents and myself, the tipping scale on my attitude towards work-life balance and financial freedom needs to be tuned optimally.

Overall, this summer vacation has being fruitful. I believe that I could have achieved much more, especially in terms of earning more money, but money is not everything and gaining traveling or cultural experiences is also important. I am still in the post-travel syndrome/mood and adapting to the less bustling and energetic lifestyle that I am currently in haha. I guess it will soon wear off though.

2011-08-07T17:22:00.033+08:00

I am back in my home country. It has been a fruitful and exciting summer study trip to Hong Kong and I believe that I would visit this bustling and fast-paced city soon.

I miss the noisy hostel while I gossiped and had pillow fights with my girlfriends till wee hours in the morning, climbing steep slopes just to get to my lecture halls, enjoying the spectacular sea view, greenery and cheerful bird chirping sounds when I returned to my hostel in the evenings, trying different and unique food everywhere, sitting the various transportation (ferry, MTR, buses, trams, railways, etc)...and so much more! Perhaps, if I have no attachments in Singapore in the future, I might foresee myself migrating or even working in Hong Kong either permanently or for a long period of time.

Well, truth to speak, things have not been totally perfect and enjoyable through out the whole summer study. Despite me knowing 1 of the 4 girls through a previous module that I took and the fact that all 4 are from same school as me, our relationship is as good as the ladies in Beyond the Realm of Conscience(宮心計). Superficial and prone to back-stabbing. Sometimes, totally blunt that they just stabbed a knife right in front of me.

But thanks to them, I grew to realize that my trip is meant to be enjoyable and not an agony of constant dependence or tolerance of their nonsenses. I met new friends along the way, travel around the city or islands without tagging along with the 4 girls, and even managed to have random chats with the salespeople or waiters along the streets. And strangely, become part of the huge NTU family at my campus/hostel.

Went to Shenzhen for the second time for better shopping bargains and massage. Explored Disneyland to retrieve my long-lost childhood. Then traveled to Macau and Zhuhai. Later, resided at Metropark Hotel located at Waterloo road. And finally, had a memorable last day with time spent at Lamma Island, followed by eating Pen Cai (Basin of food) and delicious desserts with with my friends and his HK family at Yuen Long.

View from my campus. Romantic spot right?

Walking down the slope every evening

Scenic view just below my hostel

HK Disneyland!

Mickey Mouse in his magical cloak

The magical castle

Macau - Portuguese influenced region

The famous Ruins of St. Paul Church

Chilling at Darling's Seafood restaurant to watch the sunset

Lan Kwai Fong

LKF - Clubbing and pub paradise

Bustling wet market along the streets of LKF

Welcome to Lamma Island! The best trekking place to burn extra calories.

Laid-back Lamma where you see dogs taking a cooling swim from the hot weather

Finally, a pavilion to rest after trekking for 45 mins

Trekked for 90mins just to eat this famous Ah Po's Beancurd Jelly. Simply rewarding.

Houses along the coast

Sitting ferry from Lamma back to HK

Last day feast of Pen Cai

Cold mango chee cheong fun. Love the texture.

B仔涼粉 - Ah Bee's Grass Jelly Dessert

Till we meet again

2011-07-24T18:16:00.020+08:00

This week was my first time experiencing traveling alone to explore other parts of Hong Kong. Took the shuttle bus then train to meet my other friend, who just flew from Canada with her boyfriend to have her vacation here. I am kind of a traveling noob to the extent that I had to relied on my MTR map guide to change trains. We went to Wong Tai Sin, Mongkok for more shopping and eating, and to Tsim Sha Tsui to view the symphony of lights. It's really fascinating to see the city skyscrapers synchronizing with the music, colorful lights and laser beams. My friend reckons that it would be even more spectacular during the Christmas festive season. Sat the night shuttle bus back to campus and it was kind of soothing to stroll amidst the park while enjoying the cool night breeze.

Oh well, the previous hiccups ended up to be a bigger hiccup..to the extent that it has become a matter of bothersome "indigestion". I received assurances from my friends back in Singapore, yet being alone in a foreign country, I need to constantly remind myself to be happy and mindful in handling this situation. I guess traveling to places with other new group of friends or alone do help sometimes.

Over the weekends, I went to Ocean Park with another friend. It was an enjoyable experience, especially viewing the jelly fish in their aquariums. I am an animal person, so rather than seeing how chefs slaughter live animals and feasting on them (a huge no-no for me), I will prefer to see happy animals living harmoniously with people. We got to witness amazing fireworks and lighting towards that evening..and balls of flaming fire shooting up in the night sky.

Entrance to Wong Tai Sin Temple

Night view of Symphony of Lights

Famous Michelin's recommended Wanton Noodle. Yummy noodle with chewy texture.

Roasted goose meat

Mango dessert

Are they gigantic wantons?

No haha!! They are cold mango pancakes.

Ocean Park at Aberdeen

Oh gosh! I laughed really hard after I took this photo. Goldfish says, "What's up man?"

Nice looking jelly fish

Translucent jelly fish that changes color with the color lighting. I can spent hours just amazing such serenity.

Paranormal view of the sunset from the Ocean Tower

Fountain that shoots water at such force. Super pump at work.

Silky milk pudding at Yau Ma Tei's Yee Shun Milk Company

2011-07-17T15:51:00.016+08:00

What are weekends and resting breaks for? Well, for me, at least now..is to do housework and tidying up my room. I do not know when I become such a hygiene freak, but I have being diligently mopping floor, wiping and cleaning stuffs and disinfecting the room once in a while. At this rate, perhaps I am becoming a "wifey" material.

A call from my parents and knowing the I have friends back home who are still concern about my well-being were the greatest comfort I have recieved amidst some of the conflicting matters I am facing right now. Truth to speak, not everything will be perfect to start off with, so it's only through being optimistic that I learn or gather experience from.

It has been raining non-stop for this whole week and coupled with the pollution or dry air, people are falling sick. I sort of caught a cold earlier this week too. It's amazing there there are so many medical halls and outlets, such as Hoi Tin Tong, around Hong Kong.

Wanted to go to Ocean Park yesterday, but due to the rain, we headed to a Japanese buffet lunch at Isari Kiya which is located at Tsuen Wan instead. Recommended by the famous OpenRice, it's really a value-for-money buffet as we spent an average of SGD25 per person and got to enjoy superb Japanese cuisine (especially the Sashimi).

We sang K at Neway and yes..I got to sing my Cantonese ballads.

Clouds or mist at campus from the non-stop downpours

Cha Siew Ramen at Isari Kiya

Wholesome plate of sushi

Seriously, the sashimi is a must-have

I want my Mcdull..yet to find this cute soft toy though!

Gathering of dark clouds at Tsuen Wan

KTV-ing at Neway

2011-07-10T01:05:00.012+08:00

Still exploring more places in Hong Kong, but literally tied down with the school work load that is simply..overwhelming. Traveled to Central and Sheung Wan, which are both considered the city or CBD. People are always rushing for time and even in this perpetually hot weather, the males still wear long sleeves and coats.

Fashion sense here is really updated and the females are pretty too! We spent around 2 hours just shopping around H&M.

Over the weekends, we went to Shenzhen and I caught a glimpse of China there. It's amazing to experience another form of Chinese national culture and to learn so much from it. From daily habits, way of doing business (bargaining and negotiation skills), and infrastructures. A little hiccup happened, but I guess it's just part of life. Sometimes things just would not go your way and the fine line between friendship and companionship becomes blurry. No matter what, just enjoy this short experience and be flexible.

Double-decker tramway at Central

A hearty meal at Cafe de Coral (Da Jie Le)

View from my campus

Shenzhen

Foreigners are call aliens??!!

Marketplace with the continuous stretches of street stores

All food outlets translated to Chinese. Cool! Apparently, one of my friend says that KFC is more popular than McDonald in China.

2011-07-03T00:01:00.008+08:00

It's my first week of summer in Hong Kong and I am sunburnt as red as a lobster. Been rushing around like a mad dog, climbing hills and slopes to reach the campus (which is a good way to slim down), and chasing railways and MTR to explore other parts of this island.

Adapting to the environment, lifestyle, habits here slowly because I am very slow to adapt anyway. The weather here is erratic. A moment it will be sunny and humid and the very next moment, it will be raining cats and dogs with typhoon alerts.

The only comfort is the food, countless stretches of shopping paradise, and nature greenery here. Even food from Cha Chan Teng (Chinese Tea dinner) are tasty. And other than some of those rude staffs from convenience stores, the retail service standard here is better. The salesperson in the stores will greet you sweetly with "Slowly choose your items" or "Take your time". When you say thank you to them for serving you, they will say, "You are welcome!"

Mongkok street market

Smelly toufu!!

Mango dessert at the famous Xu Liu Shan

Victoria Harbor at Tsim Tsa Tsui

Cantonese cuisine at Tack Hsin Restaurant

View up Victoria Peak

2011-06-13T01:02:00.006+08:00

So much things to do, yet so little time left. Ok, I am being pessimistic here and it's part of my genes to fret even over the smallest issue. I have to tell myself repeatedly to have fun and chill..enjoy the process. People who know me well will know that I prefer things to be orderly and organized. Give me messy things and I will make it neater. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing since it may hinder my adaptability in certain situations, yet it may also see things being delegated clearer and with directions.

Shopping is so much fun, especially when it serves as a sort of retail therapy. And when you see things that you really like and buy it without regrets. Don't you just hate it when you buy something out of a moment of impulsive or irrational decision and see that item being forsaken at a dark corner of your wardrobe or drawer? That's seriously a heavy and painful blow to my wallet.

What kind of shopper or consumer are you: Click here

My cycling stamina has reduced by at least half! I am unable to cycle up that slope that I used to do so effortlessly. Can I blame it on the gear shifter or even the derailleur that isn't as accurate and refuses to budge unlike my old Shimano shifter? But apart from this, I managed to explore the jetty and watched the beautiful sunset amidst the gentle tides at the coast.

While I felt odd among all the loving couples there, as I watched the day go by, time seemed to slow down and I started thinking and contemplating again.

2011-05-29T22:47:00.007+08:00

What's the purpose of having more convenient forms of communication tools? When the ultimate purpose is to pull people closer within their social communities and receive messages almost instantaneously, I beg to differ and choose to indicate that there are still loopholes. Undeniably, these informal tools are convenient; but, yet in some situations it still pulls friends apart and it makes it seems awfully obvious. My suggestion? Go pick up that phone and give your dear friend a call..to show that you care.

First, to the Tea Party, then to international cuisine buffet, later to Marche, next to Raindrops Cafe..what's next? I would like to party and indulge in red wine, shots of tequila, flaming lambo, martini, and zesty and bubbly midori cocktails (the thought of them makes me thirsty). How I wish I can be like those fortunate people who can feed on so much alcohol and carbo in their entire lives, and still remain miraculously slim. But I know I can't because I am ballooning into a fat orange and my face is horrendously bloated. So people, don't laugh, I am determined to go on an exercise regime and shed at least 4.5 pounds before I start traveling.

Was watching late night news on CNA when I saw this lovely created TV ad/commercial. Yo-Yo Ma playing the prelude from Bach's Suite No.1 which is one of my earliest and most favorite song of his. If you look at ads shown on CNA especially during prime-time slots, you will notice that they are targeted at different groups of people as compare to other TV channels.

Here's what Yo-Yo Ma says in this ad, "What makes a masterpiece? To me it is about finding the perfect equilibrium between complexity and simplicity. In order to transform the ordinary to the extraordinary, you can be inspired, you can learn from the best, but don’t try to be like someone else. Ultimately, you have to find your own voice." Inspirational and a timely masterpiece. I just want more of our local TV ads to be more refreshing rather than just relying on some repetitive jingles or being too factual.

SC Global - Own the Original

It's good and interesting to know the perspectives and histories of luxury fashion designers towards their apparels. Not that I do literally own them anyway, but I think it will make me value their products more and appreciate their visions. One of my most respectable female designer is Coco Chanel who broke the tight female corset fashion and replaced it with clothings that emphasized on comfort and casual stylishness.

Louis Vuitton started by selling mostly trunks and luggage. This TV commercial brings audiences closer to its core values and how it fits elegantly in in our journeys or traveling lives.

Louis Vuitton Core Values: Where Will Life Take You?

I am not a particularly coffee drinker, but drinking coffee can be so much fun when you feel your day charged just by watching this.

Starbucks Coffee Double Shot – Bring on the day

2011-05-22T22:39:00.030+08:00

I am a sucker for Korea and Japan drama..good ones though. My friend used to comment on what's so great about Korea drama when half of the time they are crying, hugging or screaming. He says that he could just go to the fridge, grab a chilled can of beer, have a visit to the loo, and when he returns the characters in the drama would still be crying.

My self-confessed list of symptoms

Do you have any of these above symptoms?

I just completed watching the Korean drama - 49 Days. It tells the story of Ji Hyun, a young lady who is about to be engaged with her fiance but meets with a serious car incident and falls into a deep coma. While being bed-ridden, her soul meets that of a male death reaper. The death reaper says that in order to be saved and get out of the coma, Ji Hyun needs to collect genuine tears from 3 good people (other than family members) for a period of 49 days. Otherwise, she will die.

For the next 49 days, Ji-Hyun takes the body of the suicidal Lee Kyung and imposes as Lee Kyung from morning to midnight in her quest to find 3 such persons. She thought that finding 3 teardrops would be easy since she was a good-hearted and sociable person when being alive. However, things become awry when she discovers ugly truths of her closest friend, fiance, and people around her. Not all is despair as she realizes how much her parents dotes on her and that the man she dislikes most turns out to be the most caring.

My eyes were wet when I watched the last episode. Not that Ji Hyun didn't manage to collect 3 tears, but because she still died sadly.

A great cast

49 Days - Tears Necklace. Will I have 3 teardrops?

That makes me wonder on myself, perhaps a sort of reflection. What if I suddenly slip into a semi-death state and my soul has to do the same as Ju Hyun in order to be alive? How many people or friends will cry genuinely (not fake, guilt, or self-pity) for my demise? What if I realize that I have lived a life that is less than being purposeful and even if I ever passed away, how many people will still know my death anniversary or visit my grave after 1 year, 2 years, etc? I know these all sound despairing and emotionally-charged, but at least I know that before I died, I will not crave the selfish wish of people remembering me for a long time, but I will want to see at least one sustainable good deed made by myself before my last breath.

I love this quote from the movie - Eat Pray Love.

" We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked around at this place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation" - Elizabeth Gilbert

Take a look at this. Which blue circle in the middle is bigger?

Both are equally of the same size!

Why?

It's the truth of relativity. Human minds are wired to look at things around us in relations to others. From decision making such as purchasing products, social class, income, emotions, etc.

2011-05-15T22:09:00.026+08:00

Heard this song on the radio and the voice is so sweet and pure. As any female who fancies a sweet crush and yet is shy to confess, I bet the lyrics just seem to match well with the voice. I guess it is like having sweet caramel melting at the tip of your tongue. Silly yet a definite rush of happy endorphin. Listen to the acoustic guitar in the song and I'm seriously amazed that it's by Sungha Jung. He's only 14 years old!

Enjoy! Brown Eyed Girls' Narsha with I'm in Love.

Vote for My Party Leh

Casualties for the "Omnipotent" Party, rising social issues among peasants like me and the sandwiched group, unnecessary drama, and people rising to fame overnight through the social media..YAM, TPL and NS. And of course, other than the Straits Time which posted huge coverages on the Omnipotent Party, the TODAY paper which was dutifully delivered to my doorsteps every Mon to Sat mysteriously disappeared few days before the polling day.

It is a smorgasbord of politics and verbal and non-verbal form of social/peer influences. The most interesting thing was my Facebook turning to a pro-Opposition Party platform or forum with friends slamming the Omnipotent Party. I see continuous stream of updates none other than related to the GE. So much so that I refused to be on Facebook or else risked being a victim of group influence.

Anyway, just an analogy. Some people may have read Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Chua has being criticized for her harsh parenting model and has being referred to raising "cubs" rather than children. But I still love her book for its genuineness and humor..you tell me..how many busy working mothers are willing to sit through their child's music lessons and patiently write down points and prepare practicing notes for their child?

Surprisingly, Chua's strict parenting model still succumb when being delivered to her younger daughter, Lulu. Lulu is the defiant daughter who would rather be punished and standing in the windy chills than obey or apologize for her mistakes. She would also chopped off her hair in a jagged manner in protest of her mother not bringing her to the hairdresser. Not many Asian kids of her age will do these. I will never have done that and somehow will still apologize grudgingly when threats are imposed. But the GE is just a reflection on how we became the rebellious and Generation-Y Lulus. We no longer succumb to threats such as "regret" and "repent" that may see our positions being altered. We vote wisely knowing that it will only be 5 years later that the next GE will be held. It just took a few young voices from the Opposition Party to tip the long-time balance of the Omnipotent Party and set a slightly fairer playing field in parliament.

We are Just so Complex

At least for me, I think that human beings are complex creatures.

Just for laugh. I was having a bonding session with my peers through dinner when we started a guessing game on which courses we took back in poly. Surprisingly, all of them said I was from nursing school. Another day, my eyes were super dry from the late nights, so I wore specs to school. 5 of my friends were horrified and said, "Oh gosh, you remind me of someone. Are you from Cedar Girls' or some girls' school!"

In his book, The Tipping Point, Gladwell mentions that we think in absolute terms and miss out on the role of situations when it comes to personality. And yes, he also sort of solves my looming question on why people's character around me are changing and yet I still think that I am like a wheel that is stuck in the same rut.

"Character..isn't a stable, easily identifiable set of closely related traits, and it only seems that way because of a glitch in the way our brains are organize. Character is more like a bundle of habits..dependent on circumstance and context. The reason that most of us seem to have a consistent character is that most of us are really good in controlling our environment." - Malcolm Gladwell

Indeed, this book is a page turner and a warrior dance in some tropical Hawaii or Maldives beach for me.

2011-04-10T17:57:00.012+08:00

What is life without music? Ever use music as a therapy to sooth your nerves or understand social issues? Heard this song few days ago and it strikes me how chilling or touching a person's victorious struggle may be.

Nakamura Ataru is born as an intersex or hermaphrodite (with both male and female organs) and suffers from disorientation of one's gender identity. He undergone a surgery and has since transformed into a female. This real-life story is not an uncommon issue in society and I have watched a similar documentary on how some inter-sexual people struggled during their childhood and even resorted to lawsuit cases against their parents for hiding the truth.

In her song, Tomodachi no uta - Poem for a friend, Nakamura expresses how she falls in love with a boy in her younger days, yet because of the teasing from classmates due to her gender disorder, she only wishes to be just friends with him. It is an intensely sorrowful song that highlights an issue that is neglected by others and strikes only few people in a population. Nakamura also starred as a guest actress in the drama: Watashi ga Watashi de Aru Tame ni (Because I am Me) that addresses issues of sexual reassignment surgeries and gender identity disorders.

Song for a Friend..nice lyrics.

Prudence Liew Mei-Kwan also did a remake of this song, but with different lyrics written by the famous cantopop lyricist, Albert Leung (Lin Xi). The song narrates a female's struggle to life after every broken relationships and finally, learns the importance of self-love.

主唱：刘美君, 作曲：中村中, 填词：林夕

(Loosely translated in Chinese)

为了记不起我为谁寻开心
横起心　独自等婚嫁真愚笨
为了有值千金的高职和自由
为自尊心　独自却不想受困

绝对不想被同情　就算输给爱情
为何要在半秒里想放弃生命
活得成　就敢乐得尽兴
手帕没人给　不是个羞愧的罪名

原来没到家　很怕被遗下
莫问真假　怕太早将一切看化
原来没有哑　开口叫别人造福我一下
如浮花飘到双手的造化

为了想通拥抱后却能被松开
与其想被抛开　不如当那双手曾没存在
为了看穿过分倚靠别人是种悲哀
这实在不该　要懂得永久的自爱

自问不是罪名　女人输给爱情
为何颓丧到似乎失去了生命
不必自吹自擂　要哭就哭得尽兴
羞愧地承认　似大将承认被击败

原来没到家　很怕被遗下
莫问真假　怕太早将一切看化
原来没有哑　开口叫别人造福我一下
如浮花的心瓣碰得多也被软化

原来没到家　巴不得有人接下
划下疮疤　就以新伤治旧伤吧
明明没有哑　恨不得呼救
何尝不想把我似哭的笑脸拆除
如浮花飘到一位人士作为造化

2011-02-20T16:52:00.011+08:00

Like this new TV ad by MINI..partly is also because I like cooper in RED.

Finally, it is the one week break. Time to rest well and do some revision. Not entirely a break too since I will heading back to school for 12-hour session on project meetings.

Been sick for 1 week and the continuous cough and breathlessness late at night make me paranoid on whether it is an asthma relapse. Had fever and was feeling tied to my bed feeling like a lump of wet cotton wool. Worse was that I had to attend an important lesson and a dry run for project presentation that day. It is always during such times when my willpower is often tested; but after everything is over, I will feel blessed that I am healthy again.

I seriously think that we SHOULD wear MEDICAL SANITATION FACE MASK when we are having flu and are in places other than home. It is like a social stigma when we wear mask and when one person falls sick, it becomes like a domino effect. But in other Asia countries, such as Taiwan, it has become a social trend and even celebrities adorn masks with cute designs.

I think I am missing out on so many aspects of life like for how many eons. The fast pace of life and the hypocritical facade we see in urban life make me neglect on the beauty of nature, new technology evolving, nice food and great night hangout areas. In short, frankly, I feel like a noob living in the bottom of a well. I want someone to hold my hand and experience such a lifestyle or even traveling to different places around the world alone snapping photos and immersing in different cultures.

Was at Geylang few days ago for a praying session and spotted this vintage bird shop at a very old shophouse.

2011-01-23T15:12:00.004+08:00

Heard this on radio on one quite night. It's fascinating that old mellow songs can bring back so many childhood memories. I guess no other male singer of today's music industry matches up with Jacky Cheung's unique singing ability..otherwise why would he be titled as one of the four heavenly kings of cantopop?

Enjoy! 张学友 Parting on a rainy day:

2011-01-09T01:51:00.005+08:00

I have to admit that I am stress. Yes, it is just the first week, but my schedule is packed. I feel stifling as if something heavy is pressing on my lungs. I need to exercise to de-stress..I want someone to be my side to ease my worries..I want someone to tell me that I can do it..I need to reduce my other commitments.

I think school has already "slapped" reality right on my face. It always did and I have to balance dexterously with the project stuffs and all. I want a getaway, but life out at the corporate world is never a stroll in a park. Moreover, one of my prof mentioned before that, "Life is too short to be a mediocre." I am a mediocre student, but it's only by pushing myself to a higher limit that I could view a better horizon. Nonetheless, having a balanced lifestyle is still important.

Be Strong. Stay Strong. Think Strong.

2011-01-02T21:09:00.007+08:00

It's another brand new year and school is starting again. Another battle to fight and the mad cycle of late tired nights continues. I think my body clock is screwed and even during the holiday I can't sleep until it's 3 in the morning.

2010 has been a year of usual ups-and-downs. Things get messy during the mid of the year; accusations and misunderstandings erupted and I felt the strongest pain deep down in my heart that I could not even cry or feel tears.

But when I think of the other happiness that I have, I just feel gratitude and a stronger urge to survive the ordeals. When life becomes imperfect, it's time to reflect on the many other sufferings around this Earth and to practice more resilience and compassion.

Lastly, this Dec holiday ended shortly, sweetly, quietly, and without a high note.

So, here's my new resolution, some of them unfulfilled for last year:

Family and Friends
Studies
Better Health & Lose Weight FAST
Work + Money
Traveling

2010-12-19T23:16:00.019+08:00

Lately, quite into emotions and facial expressions. It's fascinated how people react to fear and express their emotions on their faces and gestures. Some are subtle, but being able to read this without verbal communication is powerful in certain situations.

I've told myself not to step into people's lives too much but to be more concerned about myself than others instead; it does not pay when people don't appreciate your concern or effort. But when people/friends are too shy to express their inner feelings and try to deceive you by saying otherwise, reading their fear, anger, hatred etc implicitly will still help ease my unrest or worry of them.

Paul Ekman, my favourite author and the pioneer in the psychology in reading facial expression, emotion and deception, once said that," Most lies succeed because no one goes through the work to figure out how to catch them."

~~~

Was reading TODAY paper and came across this commentary. In this short commentary, Georgina Chang says that "we all can learn to be less selfish and to deal positively with the baggage from the past."

"Many of us want closure from those who hurt us before we can really let go and move on. But, chances are, we're never going to get it. The only closure that's attainable is in your own mind. It decides that chapter of your life is over, and you want to leave it in the past where it belongs."

Read It Here:BAGGAGE CLAIM

~~~

Godsis, her hubby and little darling princess visited my family today. Little princess is so adorable. Her chuckles and giggles just melt my heart. Carrying her on my arms was an experience that was filled with warmth and joy.

Males and females are great! Females are great in the sense that we experience the pain of monthly ovulation and pregnancy for the joy of bringing a new life to this world. If there's anything that we should be worry about, it would be this funny chart below:

I just can't help think this as a depreciation in our net value as the years go by. The peak in our net value is at 20 years old and after that it nosedives drastically after 35 years old, so despite the cash inflows..the NPV for profitability will still be zero or even negative due to the large lump of cash outflows (facial products, expensive lingerie, anti-aging pills??). It's scary and exaggerating, but not sure how true this is.

2010-12-12T22:41:00.017+08:00

It's TVB 43rd anniversary and somehow I realized that without great HK drama productions, my life would be so boring. It's through dramas that I get to see stories that I wouldn't expect and to see emotions and feelings that wouldn't be expressed so vividly in daily life.

Recently just completed watching 巾幗梟雄之義海豪情 (No Regrets) and 蒲松齡 (Ghost Writer aka Po Chung Ling).

No Regrets - The second part of Rosy Business, it tells the political turmoil and rampant opium trading in the 1930s; in which everyone experienced their darkest times with the WWII that followed when the Japanese troops invaded China and Guangzhou fell under the Japanese army.

Ghost Writer - Po Chung-Ling was born in Jinan in a family of New Year print. He is very bright, his father, Po Poon, had therefore always hoped that he could one day carry on the family business. However, Chung-Ling never liked doing business and detested the corruption of high officials. The drama tells the story of how Chung-Ling met Sum-Yu and the little female fox goddess. Of which he spent the rest of his life writing "The Strange Tales of Liao Zhai".

Very glad that No Regrets won many awards in the TVB Drama Award last Sunday.

Sheren Tang - The character of Cheng Kau-Miu is such a complex character and I admire her guts and bold spirit. She eludes a kind of female protagonist charm that I really think she deserves the best actress award.

Wayne Lai - The male protaganist in the drama, Lau Sing. His pair of eyes has expressed all sorts of emotions and he too deserves the best actor award.

Fala Chen - Lau Sing's bed-ridden sister, Lau Ching, who has heart disease in this drama. I think guys would have gawked at the scene where she stripped naked in front of the Japanese soldier. Lau Ching's character isn't as rich as Kau-Miu or Lau Sing, but I think she still acted well despite the simplicity of this character. She's beautiful even with minimal make-up. Happy that she won the best supporting actress award.

A flashback on some of the best TVB dramas that I've watched.

At the Threshold of an Era (1999) - Despite being 105 episodes long, it was my first glimpse of the dark side of business world where villains plotted scheming tricks for fame, greed, and glory. Gallen Lo, Louis Koo, Kenix Kwok, Florence Kwok, and Ada Choi were my idols back then.

Reaching Out (2001) - Another long drama of 50 episodes telling the story of 3 orphans. The most prominent character was Hiu Guan/Hiu Nga both portrayed by Kenix Kwok. The first drama that I watched twice.

Seven Sisters (2001) - A classical Chinese ghost stories between a scholar and female spirit. The first drama in which I fell in love with Charmaine Sheh's character, Yuk-Tsan: A willful and spoil-brat but kind-hearted girl with a tragic ending.

Country Spirit (2002) - The story takes place in a winery in China in around 1900-1930. It tells the scheming merchants in wine-making, as well as the touching love story between a widow, who is part of a ghost marriage, and her husband's house servant. Back then, the dramas were produced in video tapes and it was kind of old-school to rewind the tape before viewing. It was the drama that sees the break-through of Charmaine Sheh's career in the entertainment industry. Her character of Shun Fung reminds me of Jeanette Aw's character in Little Nyonya. Together with the breathtaking scenery shots in Guangxi and the nice theme songs, it was one of my most memorable HK period drama.

2010-12-05T23:18:00.013+08:00

Baby, when will you be mine?

Car COE prices hit 10-years high as of Nov 19th. I was hopping like a mad cow and what will lie ahead in 2 years time? Second-hand or OPC? Singapore really have so many cars? Unbelievable but it turns out to be true on one of the evening at Orchard.

It was just 6pm on a normal weekday and from level 5-8, only 4 miserable parking lots were left at Ion's multi-storey car park. Took half an hour to find a lot and took another 40 mins to leave the car park. My friend tried to act smart by turning out to Orchard Turn instead of Orchard Boulevard, but we were faced with the same traffic jam. Imagine if someone's cash card is faulty or of insufficient cash, I think the cars behind would have gone seriously mad.

On Old Uncle

Call me egoistic, lime-light wannabe, whatever. Was rushing to some place and hailed a cab. At first, the cab driver seemed like a lecherous driver who thinks he can sweet-talk innocent females. He asked me lots of strange questions and I just gave him a polite smile or ignored him completely. Then he looked at the rear mirror and made a comment that inflated my ego, "You've a sweet smile. A genuine smile that I suppose will attract lots of friends." Me? A plain girl-of-next-door? Have a sweet smile? What loads of rubbish!

But sometimes..sometimes..old uncles are really friendlier and he boosted my long-lost confidence. Not only did he charged me $2 less, he made me realized what beauty really means. What are all those beauty campaigns and advertisements trying to sell/tell us? Is it a distorted sense of beauty? It isn't difficult to know that this sense of beauty is a pack of lies, but repeatedly, we know these lies but persisted with our false sense of beliefs. What's your definition of beauty?

Take a look at these website: Comprehensive Study of Asian Woman's Attitude Reveals (especially Japan).

On Relationship

Sometimes the greatest lesson in life is not from the an education institute, but from our own observations, experiences, and sharing sessions with friends.

I have mixed feelings for this tricky topic and experience a plethora of jealously, hatred, guilt, betrayal, etc. But what's yours will be yours. While we as observers might think to ourselves with exasperation, " What the hell is this female/male doing in the name of love? Is she/he losing his/her sanity?" But love is like a poison "lustful" fruit, where you continuously experience a roller-coaster of happiness, bitterness and sourness. It's through this poison fruit that you learn to grow stronger and more sober.

As I listened to my bro's recount of his past relationships, I realized that even if you know that some actions are incorrect, you will still commit them. When I try to be in their shoes, I realized their dilemma. It takes two to dance; likewise, it takes two to make a relationship fail down a slippery slope or work magic (just my opinions).

2010-11-14T02:27:00.014+08:00

Watched 100% Entertainment (娱乐百分百) hosted by Show Luo and Alien Huang few weeks ago (close to 1 month I suppose) and was greatly entertained by the 2 special guests/best friends, Della Ding (丁当) and Shadya Lan (蓝又时). Both are feisty ladies who have overcome several obstacles in life. While Della is the prowess princess of "iron" lungs, Shadya is the bubbly and talented songwriter who seems to have a great chemistry with Show Luo.

In today's over cluttered Chinese music entertainment industry, it's hard to find songs that seriously capture my heart and lyrics of true meaning. I'm definitely not a fan of eye-candy girl bands or suave-looking boy bands.

Shadya Lan is one of those stunning female singers that stood out from the rest. She composes and writes songs for her own and for other female singers. In particular, I like her latest album: Love in London (倫敦的愛情).

Tears of a Fish (鱼的泪): Show Luo was cynical about how fishes would have tears lol~ But yes, fishes are just like human beings, or even any females, who may have invisible tears beneath their smiling facade.

蓝又时 - 鱼的泪
作词：蓝又时作曲：蓝又时

我们以为鱼是不哭的而它也从不闭上眼睛
让自己安静让自己休息
但我知道它是会哭的只是在水里面待着
看不见有难过的眼泪眼泪在流着
你就像鱼儿我也像鱼儿
总有人觉得我们是坚强的
不会哭的
我真的知道你在哭或许你选择去躲着
又或者是微微的笑着我真的都看见了
我真的知道你会哭或许你总是笑笑的
但我知道你心里面的
有种不舍是感动的心软的 (x2)

我真的知道你在哭或许你选择去躲着
又或者是微微的笑着我真的都看见了
我真的知道你会哭或许你总是笑笑的
但我知道你心里面的
有一种的舍不得我看见了

2010-10-31T22:09:00.010+08:00

It has been 4 years since your demise
But your departure to a place called Heaven
Has elicited the truth of life

You have taught me
To be steadfast in my beliefs even through adversities
To hold on to my dreams
To believe in God

The angels have called upon you sooner than we've planned
But we will brave the bitter brief that comes
And look to the Heaven in the night sky above
You will always be here
For there really is no end

2010-10-03T22:05:00.014+08:00

"要放下就要先舍自我，不然自我愈强，就愈不容易放下。愈无执著者，自我就会渐渐减少，当自我减少了，才是真正的放下。"
- 慧门禅师

"人的心灵宛如一面镜子，能映照出世间的美好。当明镜蒙尘时，如不及时清扫，人将会失却真我，生活也将处处呈现烦恼尘埃。地面经常清扫，才会有干净的院落；同样，人的内心需要时常反省，才会有干净的生活。"
- 周利槃特 Ksudrapanthaka (扫心地)

The above religious quotes were excerpts from a magazine that I've just read. I always believe that no matter what religion one is from, God/Buddha/Guan Yin is the pillar of strength to my life. My mother used to be Catholic, but ever since 4 years ago, we converted to Buddhism. I hope that one day I could be reunited with religion & you and find the reasons to my life's ordeals and journey.

Lately, I'm disappointed with people around me and even myself, but I think it's time to lower my expectations and accept what everyone or everything is. But what I realized most is the gift of life. Had some eye viral infection few weeks ago and was given dosage of antibiotics. It soon turned out to be a mini nightmare! First, it was the swollen gum..next, it was the flu..then the cough with blood in my phlegm, the blood pressure plunge..well, it all practically snowballed during my mugging period.

When life is getting faster or spinning without control, it's good to listen to music and seek refuge in religion. At least for me, they help. I don't know when I become a great fan of Hayley Westenra, Libera, and S.E.N.S. Quite strange, but I didn't "dodge" or fall asleep while listening to such songs.

Finally had some good sleep (as if I didn't sleep for few years) few days ago and had a great dinner with poly friends at The Queen and Mangosteen yesterday.

There are so much more things to learn in life and while being grateful to be able to learn and be "refined", I am lazing on my couch thinking of my next move.

2010-09-05T22:50:00.005+08:00

Why, why, WHY?

Have you come to a point of life where you've so many questions to ask yourself? What makes me where I'm today, what's next, why do I feel sadness, happiness, jealously, why do I think in such an optimistic/pessimistic manner, etc. As I ponder on such questions, sometimes I feel even more depressed. At other times, I feel proud of myself.

As I grow older, I tend to recognize feelings which I haven't experienced previously - call it a sign of higher alertness level. Do you associate certain feelings/emotions with certain imagery or memories? If an emotion appears for a purpose, how do I cultivate my mind to respond positively towards it?

If only I had ask more "why" questions to my academic, rather than contemplating on such questions on life...which sometimes (I think) is a waste of my time. But how could I when such questions keep surfacing whenever I experience different emotions.

Anyway, I think this is a clever advertising from Breast cancer foundation and DDB. "Are you obsessed with the right things?" A question that sets me thinking, but more importantly, are the images that draws my attention when seen a second time (the swelled nipple).

Is health or pimple/big butt/bad hair day more important?

2010-08-22T17:55:00.007+08:00

Goodbye summer, welcome fall. Somehow, I have the sudden irrational urge to go overseas. No matter where it is, I want to go as far as possible. To start off with, I'm not that independent and I'll rather travel with a bunch of friends. Since I'm done with my internship, the next stop is to do a business study mission trip, exchange, or even overseas voluntary program in the next summer. Could I or could I not? I guess it all lies within myself.

For now, it's just school. Each year gets tougher and more challenging. I need the motivation and I believe it's my family and religion that spur me on. Sometimes, the vision gets blurry; other times, I see the beacon of light.

Had a post-birthday dinner with YingJ and LH at Billy Bombers. Nice dinner and companions. I like my Betty's roast chicken and Ben&Jerry's strawberry cheesecake waffle.

I've 2 songs/jingles that I can't get off my head..ahh!

I so happened to pass by the music store and bought this album right on the spot. P.S it was the last CD on the shelf.

Rimi Natsukawa's Toki no Nagare Nimi Wo Makase (時の流れに身をまかせ) from the album of Utasagashi - Asia no Kaze (歌さがし～アジアの風):

Indigo Blue's I'm the One:

2010-08-15T19:13:00.009+08:00

I can't believe school is starting. Need to be fully-armored again. Why do I still have the jitters? I guess it all comes from the madness and random shocks. But I think as a comfort, I could cycle in the park when my "rubber band" is snapping.

As it's the seventh month, I am forbidden to cycle as my qi isn't good. So for my safety, I think it's much better to cycle after the seventh month is over. My skin is getting whiter and paler and I look like a vampire! Was supposed to cycle on Monday with YZ, but due to the stomach upset, I didn't go.

Had Kichi Kichi at Takashimaya with Poly friends. It's a nice place to relax and have your food served on the conveyor belt. Not much of a fancy meal, but the service there is good.

After the meal, we watched Angelina Jolie's Salt. An action-packed movie about a Russian spy/CIA agent, Evelyn Salt, who transformed from a cold-blooded spy to a heroine. I think it's AJ's seductive figure and swift fighting moves that save the whole movie. Even as a female, I think she's hot.

Rented another movie, The Blind Side. I think it's one of the best movie that I have watched this summer. It's based on a true story on how a Caucasian-American, Leigh Anne Tuohy, took a black, Michael Oher, as legal guardian. She then guides him to become one of the most successful American football offensive tackle.

Went for dim sum dinner and had some drinks with bro yesterday. Talked about botox, marriage, and even Geylang in the 1980s.

Well, in short, I found this summer break really short. Particularly because of my internship, I didn't get to relax much. But sometimes even learning can be much fulfilling, especially when you're learning something that you like.

2010-08-08T19:30:00.008+08:00

Read the papers last week and I'm elated that Sumiko has married her JC crush, Hurricane. In a sweet and simple wedding, it was truly a magical moment. Perhaps it isn't much of a fancy or celebrity new, but for females (at least in my sense) to find happiness in a blissful marriage is the next stop besides having a successful career and wealth.

Source: ASIAONE DIVA

Next moving on, I just can't get enough of Lorna Tan's financial articles in the strait times. Was reading the papers this afternoon..yes, the papers again, and I like how you write "Chasing the Singapore Dream". Talking about the 5Cs, Lorna provided a glimpse on these so-called dream in today's financial situation.

Talking about it, SM Goh reinvents the 5cs to: Career, comfort, children, considerate, and charitable. After all, "wealth will not make one happy. Contentment will".

Oh, have also watched Nodame Cantabile-The Movie. While Nodame (Ueno Juri) is the cutesy, dramatic and talented piano student, Chiaki (Tamaki Hiroshi) is the dashing and solemn orchestra conductor.

I just like the music pieces, especially Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture..depicting how Napoleon invaded Russia in 1812 and how the suppressed peasants defeated Napoleon subsequently.

2010-08-01T19:55:00.008+08:00

After a short getaway trip to Genting during the weekends..2 weeks ago, I am happy to say that I have overcome my fear for heights partially. With a bunch of "mad" yet fun bunch of friends, we sat the theme park rides from morning to evening. I screamed wtf twice (or maybe thrice) while on the viking aka pirate ship.

The ultimate one was the sky rocket (or whatever they call it) where they brought us to few meters high and plunged you up and down at crazy speed. I was holding the hand of an Arab lady before the ride started..and we were both terrified like some school kids waiting to enter the Principal's office. I guessed my face was just a pale sheet of paper. For a few seconds, my heart stopped beating and I couldn't even scream or see. The weather was so cold and foggy that I could only, literally, see floating clouds. And I swear that my soul was away from my body for that split second!

A jam-packed weekend, but lots of memory (especially at this grand old age).

It's also my last week in office as an Intern student at this Marketing firm. I wouldn't say I learned a lot since learning is life-long, but I have gathered few soft and hard skills, which could be applied in my studies and life.

I sat in the meeting room and had a last chat with my boss. It was a rewarding one and a time where I somehow did a little HR talk with him to find out my weaknesses. Despite his harsh critics, I believe that I have gained a fresh perspective. You may disagree or have other principles or philosophy in life, but for me, I realized 2 things: (1) It's never too late to make a mistake, but the most important thing is to learn from it. (2) Everything that I am doing now serves a purpose.

Even on the last day of work, I was busy tidying the project which I had started off with. It was fulfilling..much more fulfilling than when I am studying. We had pizza and Koi (yumm!) for lunch and headed to Kallang Leisure Park in the mid-afternoon for ice-skating.

The funniest thing was that my colleague and I were trapped in between the doors at Stadium Circle Line while on our way home. The handle of my umbrella got stuck in between the train's door and my other colleague thought it was my hand since the umbrella's handle was beige too. The train's doors closed at lightning speed and some others were also nearly trapped at other stations. I wonder whether they did install sensors or what would have happened if there's an elderly boarding the train?

I'll miss my colleagues due to all the laughter and hard work that we all had shared in this short but fruitful 3 months.

2010-07-11T23:15:00.004+08:00

Tonight will be the last night that I'll...

"I weary of these noisy nights,
Of shallow jest and coarse "good cheer,"
Of jazzy sounds and brilliant lights.
Come, Love, let us away from here.

Let us lay down this heavy load;
And, side by side, far from the town,
Drive on some lovely country road;
And, wondering, watch the sun go down.

What time is left to us, come, Love.
The woods, the fields shall make us whole;
The nightly pageantry above
Our little world, keeps sweet our soul.

No peace this city's madness yields -
A tawdry world in cheap veneer.
Out there the lovely woods and fields.
Come, Love, let is away from here."

- Max Ehrmann

Tonight will really be the last night.

2010-07-04T17:16:00.003+08:00

A bad hair day for a week! Simply...amazing.

Watched Japan V Paraguay on Tuesday. Japan was doing fine and all hopes came crashing down when Komono hit the cross bar instead of the goal mouth during the penalty kick. My heart was utterly upset, especially during the scene where all the players knelt down and witnessed as Paraguay hit the final ball to Japan's dismay. Japan fought well and displayed true spirit..ganbatte ne for the next world cup.

Had a hard time going to sleep...and the very next morning, I was ticked off badly by Boss for my mediocre marketing plan. Then on Thursday, my colleague and I were yelled at again through MSN for still not giving him optimum results.

Either he has placed too much trust in me or I'm over confident, but I was suppose to spearhead a new marketing project. I was expecting few meetings to clarify issues, but all we did was to discuss details through MSN. How frustrating can it be. I ended up with migraines that lasted for the rest of the week and like what my colleague say, "Don't be traumatized by this whole issue. This is just how the way he is. "

This is indeed an eye-opener. But amidst this whole issue, it makes me learn to manage my emotions and working ability better.

Double whammy blow on Friday. Brazil lost to Netherlands (Holland) 1-2. Robinho secured the first goal, but the fiery temper of Felipe Menlo and poor defense after half-time allowed the Oranje to score twice. World Cup isn't suppose to go this way. Totally lost my mood to watch.

With Brazil and Argentina (a 4-0 lost!!) out, the playing field is left with Germany, Spain, Uruguay, and Netherlands, which I won't be watching until the finals. Don't want to spoil my mood further and no more late nights.

2010-06-27T15:50:00.017+08:00

PHOTO: AP and The Straits Times

I'm going to watch Tuesday's round of 16 match LIVE on Tuesday, 10pm: Paraguay v Japan!! It's the only climax of my coming week since I can't watch Brazil v Chile at 2.30 AM. Who cares if Paraguay is the hot favourite. Although I have lost my kimchi, I still savour for sushi. Keisuke Honda - my plate of sushi.

Do you believe that you possess someone's interest, especially if that person is no longer there? It's quite a strange phenomenon, but yet, it still happens to me. I love the drinks that you used to drink and the house or trance music that you used to listen. Is it for me to feel better or some kind of pill with placebo effects?

I've been listening to Lush ever since I sit at my desk at work every morning or in fact, since 2007 (when you recommended me to listen). Nothing beats chasing the early morning blues than having your heart dance to upbeat tunes. I keep telling myself that I ought to live a more adventurous life, to have a challenging goal..but it always seems that I'm leading a mundane life that it has become a norm for me to just live to live. Where did that bold spirit of mine been to?

I was having breakfast one morning where this huge headline was like a huge red siren that blasted my eyes.

Well, I've been growing up reading her column. She's one of Singapore most popular single woman. While some don't like her whinning of being single and the loneliness that accompanies it, her column is a place where most single ladies seek refuge - a humble abode from those storms. In each failed relationship, you'll question yourself on stuffs like, "what's wrong with me, do I deserve being love, why can't I have the happiness that others have, etc" But when you read her articles on love and relationship, you can't just help feeling that, "Hey, I'm not alone."

Just a week ago, I was uber sad on the passing of her lovely dog, Pom Pom. Although it was adopted, Pom Pom was such a lovable dog. Then in July last year, I thought something would have happened to her love life when Sumiko mentioned Hurricane, her junior college's crush.

So well, as Ignatius Low has mentioned, at a grand old age of 46 years old, Sumiko is saying goodbye to the singleton era. I'm so happy for her and as her staunch reader, I look forward to reading colourful snippets of her married life on September with her sweetheart, none other than, Hurricane.

For more, read her article on Straits Times or this.

2010-06-20T15:59:00.005+08:00

I think one of the scariest thing about human is the fact that people might change. How do you measure fulfillment of life? Is it a measurement in terms of the scale of monetary value or non-monetary value. Some may argue that certain scale of measurements are intangible or tangible. There are certain so-call philosophies of life from others that are so rehashed that just the mention of it makes me think of "not this again."

Came across this website while in office.

Take a look at this: At my senior prom, there was a girl in my grade who is handicapped and confined to a wheelchair. During one of the slow dances, a boy picked her up from her chair and slow danced with her, holding her up the entire time, so that she could have at least have one dance at her prom. People like Liam GMH.

Or even this: My boyfriend asked me to teach him sign language.Upon asking why he said, "Your mom told me you were going to be deaf one day... I want to be able to talk to you when we are married." His unconditional LGMH.

Small true stories from people who wrote on GiveMeHope and LoveGiveMeHope are sometimes the best inspiration for the unconditional love and hope in life. It makes you smile and brightens up your day.

Watched Toy Story 3. I think it is awesome and the animation is a total blast. Somehow it helps to relive my childhood and warms my heart just like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold rainy day.

2010-06-13T17:48:00.007+08:00

It's World Cup South Africa 2010! Whether it's the African's vuvuzela horn or Korean's taepyongso, nothing beats the excitement of watching the soccer matches held in the Rainbow Nation. It's hot, sizzling, and exotic. Supporting South Korea, Japan, and Brazil ~

Just watched the dvd movie, Tenshi No Koi (My Rainy Days). While the movie is the normal romantic plot of girl meets boy, falls in love, discovers that the boy (or rather, the girl's sensei) has a brain tumor, and finally their tragic yet sweet get-together, the music from this motion picture is splendid!

The original soundtrack (OST) accompanying this movie is so touching and soothing that it simply makes the or-else mediocre movie a magical and enthralling journey of true love between the female lead (Rio) and male lead (Kouki). I always enjoy OST for Japanese drama, movie, and anime because the composers usually manage to weave magical notes from the music pieces that evoke sufficient emotion to make you want to listen continuously and "brim your pair of ears with ear wax".

However, my hunt for this particular OST is as good as coming to naught. I love the tracks by Love Psychedelico's Beautiful Days, Zentaro Watanabe's My Rainy Days, and Indigo Blue's I'm The One. Ok, I managed to find the first 2, but not the latter. In fact, Indigo Blue's track is the true gem out of this whole OST. If someone can help me locate Indigo Blue track for this album, I will gladly reward you haha! Anyway, here's a short preview for some songs in this movie, the first (instrumental guitar from 0:00 to 0:48 mins) and last (vocal rendition of I'm the One from 3:21 to 4:25 mins) are just the songs I AM STILL LOOKING FOR.

Music Clip: Download Here or Watch It Here

Talking about Indigo Blue. This group consists of Rina and Kou. While both compose their own songs and lyrics, Rina is the vocalist and Kou is the guitarist. If I'm not wrong they had their first album in 2005? And they are still fairly unknown and new to any music market except Japan, of course. Do a quick google search with the "Indigo Blue" and they will give you crap! Unless you accompany the search with keywords like Rina, Kou, Japan Music, etc.

Anyway, recently 2 of my colleagues are commenting that I am turning into a gypsy. Can you believe it? With my mini obsession with aroma therapy, essential oils and tea, they feel that I am into the level of spiritual healing. The only thing that I am lacking of is - a taste or flair for bohemian fashion.

2010-06-06T22:13:00.008+08:00

This week, some of my colleagues were quite stressed at work and were either coughing or sneezing away. It came to my surprise that our boss decided to have half of Thursday dedicated to an outing.

At first, I didn't think it will be a fun outing as it's on self-massage? Oh, come on, how good can self-massage be as compare to a complete spa package or even chilling out at some nice spot. Well, I was wrong as it turned out that it's a fruitful trip and something that I can apply on myself at a daily basis.

After a light lunch, we shared a cab and headed down to Aljunied, or more precise, Lorang 23 Geylang. It was a small place and the boss of that company is presumably a good friend of my boss. At the half-day meridian massage, I learned about the basic of the 300 acupuncture points on the body that connect to 12 principal and 8 secondary pathways called meridians. The aim of the meridian massage is to balance the pathway of our qi and blood for healthier living. Besides learning some new knowledge, I also had a nice aromatherapy neck rub by my partner.

Called me an idiot in acupuncture, but I realized that one of the most important point is the zhong fu (中府) which connects the spleen and lungs that treats stomach, cough, water retention, etc. Whether it's backache, sinus, indigestion, headache, or toothache, meridian massage has a way to alleviate the symptoms. Just by accurately pressing the acupoints and if it's pain, it does signal a problem with that particular organ or ailment.

I won't say that it has successfully turn my life 360 degrees, but I do believe that when done daily, it will reduce ailments in my neck, back, and headaches. In fact, my family noticed that my hands and feet were warmer after I returned home that day..which usually are quite cold and clammy.

Here's some funny videos on exercising and acupuncture.

Anyway, I was having dinner with a group of school mates at Food for Thought one day. I must admit that they are a bunch of feisty ladies who are soon-to-be bankers or auditors. I don't know when did I give up my aspiration to be in the finance industry? I always thought that I would end up being one of the cookie cutter and be in the investment or trading field. I was so wrong since with the brains of mine, I don't think I would even be part of the ingredients to make a good cookie.

Not that I'm not interested in finance, but I can't seem to do well in it with all the elite people gathering in that top industry. Maybe, I belong to another industry all together?

Not sure whether they are stressed with work or what, but my school mates actually made fun of how tasteless the dessert was and why Food for Thought hired people who face certain financial difficulties or other problems. I was quiet throughout that conversation and silently eating the dessert while some of them were laughing away. I don't see the point in laughing at other people's predicament or even how horrible the dessert is. I mean we should be grateful with what we have on the dining table, even how tasteless it's, at least it filled our stomach. I was plainly upset, no matter how fortunate or rich we're, gratitude is one important aspect of my principles in life (whether is it towards people or food).

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that I'm someone more sensible or a person deem fitter to talk about principles and those stuffs. But sometimes, I don't see why people laugh at certain things? Is it a mockery of others or in fact, on themselves. There's still an extent to how jokes should be played, or rather, sensible jokes. I'll still return to Food for Thought and support their mission to enjoy food for a good cause.

2010-05-30T15:15:00.008+08:00

Mid this week, I was feeling quite down, or rather, confused. But all was not lost when I felt reassurance from Yi Jia and Godsis who both found time to provide me with some words of comfort. Perhaps, life is full of ups and downs. Without no downs, there weren't be any ups. I still have so much more to learn in life, and these are just a few. At least, I didn't show my temper or sulk away in office..or else it would be so unprofessional, so to speak.

It was Vesak Day on Friday and it marks the birth, enlightenment, and final nirvana of Siddhartha Gautama Buddha. My family did our annual routine of visiting the temple and scooping water onto the statue of a baby Prince Siddhartha - related to flowers blooming and rain falling during his birth, and also seen as an act of purification and a reminder to people to keep their soul, heart and mind pure. Maybe Buddha sees the knot in my heart, because after bowing 3 times to Buddha, I seemed to receive a message from him. It wasn't a piece of message that provides direct solution, but a message that rings in my head and soul. I just feel my deepest gratitude to Buddha.

Okay, to sidetrack a bit. I was waiting for one of my colleagues to buy coffee from a small cafe when I came across this photo:

It's Fiona Xie!! Almost ended up laughing non-stop.

Also, I was watching TVB's lastest variety show, 荃加福禄寿, when I ended up bursting in fits of laughter during this episode. Wong Cho Lam impersonate as the evil empress dowager in the drama, 宫心计 (Beyond the Realms of Conscience). Every week, he impersonate as different female characters. In this episode, he even rewrites the theme song of Beyond the Realms of Conscience to express his feelings about acting as a female.

Catch this episode here: Episode 5

For some lighthearted family comedy, you should also watch the weekly episode of Sat In The City (I love Handelababy!!): Sat In The City Episode 1

Here's my loose translation on the song (click to enlarge):

Do you think Wong Cho Lam (on the left) looks like one of my best poly buddy? Are you thinking what I am thinking? Hmm on a side note..I think this poly buddy looks slightly better looking than him.

2010-05-23T17:22:00.010+08:00

Alright, I've enough of [item removed to prevent further misunderstandings, thanks all for your concern]..enough of my lamenting.

Lin Chi Ling can really act and she's gaining popularity in Japan. She's not the so-called flower vase/pretty face and she speaks good Japanese. In this latest dorama, Tsuki no Koibito (Moon Lovers), Kimura Takuya is the president of a home furnishing business and meets a Chinese protestor, Lin Chi Ling, during one of his business trip to China.

After watching some Taiwan idol drama, I am now moving on to my HK TVB drama!!

蔡锷与小凤仙 (In the Chamber of Bliss) tells the romantic legend of the love between a military governor, Choi Ngok, and beautiful courtesan, Siu Fung Tsin. I love the theme song, 伤爱一生, which has lovely lyrics and tune.

Growing up in a family that listens to Cantonese Nanyin Opera (地水南音), the theme song has this opera feel and evokes such splendid emotion to describe a genuine love for someone. Just one word, WOW. The only other Cantonese opera that I fell in love is 客途秋恨 (A Wanderer's Autumn Grief) telling the sad tale of a poet and a lovely maiden when I watched TVB's Seven Sisters, starring Charmaine Sheh and Gallen Lo.

If you're up for some action flick, 铁马寻桥 (A Fistful of Stances) has a powerful cast that describes the pugilistic world rampant during the early to mid 1900s.

Missing those backstabbing and vengeful ladies in patriarchal households in pre-modern times? You've got to watch 掌上明珠 (Sisters of Pearl) as the 3 sisters weave a labyrinth of suspense and lies that keep you glue to your seat every episode.

Don't want to be a TV addict? Grab this limited time special offer (until early June, I guess) at all Popular bookstore for Malcolm Gladwell's What The Dog Saw & Other Adventures at a discounted price of $13.65 - usual price of $17.07.

Expect a delightful assortment that suits your hungry taste palate for short article ranging from geniuses, theories and prediction, personality to criminal profiling. Not a book to be missed since Malcolm is one of the popular management thinkers who writes columns for The New Yorker Magazine with his witty and unconventional views on successes and leadership.

2010-05-16T14:30:00.003+08:00

It was your birthday last week and I was grateful that two people (male and female) actually remembered it. Personally, there are two reasons why people remember your birthday after so long. They either live in regret or truly place you in their hearts. I wonder if one day I ever left Earth, how many would actually think of my existence or at least - my birthday? Undeniably, famous starlets in the entertainment industry (such as Teresa Teng, Anita Mui, etc) have people to mark their death anniversaries each year because they left an impact on others.

YES..Impact is one great deal that I think I will strive to achieve for. Not on how many people remember how wealthy I am, but how I have left indelible footprints in at least, a few people lives. Guess that most are familiar with the story of Christmas Carol. It would be quite sad if someone becomes like Scrooge and only be reminded of how his or her life had being devoid of humanity, compassion or happiness when he or she finally died.

Anyway, in terms of reciprocity, should I return shit with shit?

You know some people really give you crappy and rubbish stuffs (cuz they can't be bothered) sometimes. You know you can't change them and they still display this air of arrogance, defiance or even "can't-be-bothered" attitude. I want them to emphathize or even for me to empathize them or the situation, but there just seems to be a barrier. So what I normally do is choose to IGNORE. Usually, I leave them alone for good or quit discussion with them since there isn't any productive or meaningful discussion in place. Seriously, I don't know whether this is right.

Oh, also I think the area near my workplace is a food haven for lunch! North Canal road, South Bridge road, and even Market street. Cuz every time when it's 11:30 am, we'll be online discussing where to eat.

2010-05-09T16:17:00.004+08:00

I was duped, you see! "Apply, if you're looking for a laid-back and fun environment to work at". Ok, I take back the fun part, but the laid-back part is definitely not quite applicable at least for this moment. I have wanted to make my summer as fun as possible, and packed myself with lots of activities. However, it now really seems that I'm just a workaholic who only finds enjoyment on friday night and the weekends.

Well, for those who already know, I'm doing my internship / attachment at a marketing firm. With just 1 week in office, I need to prepare a proposal and provide a detailed execution plan to boost traffic to one of our main web page. The good part is that our boss doesn't treat us like interns, but as full-fledged staffs who need to sit through meetings and understand the company's operation and products by now.

Challenging as it may seem, it is a place where I can gain much experience from. At this age, no longer can I rely on anyone, but to have faith in myself and provide myself with reasons and motivation to live and fight for my dreams in the impending future. I always tell myself that I'm not alone in this journey; because, waiting for someone / something to appear in my life is a form of loneliness. Seriously, I hope I could keep up with this spirit.

While lunching, I came across this shop at Clark Quay, A Bear Place, which sells exquisite bears from Singapore and around the world, and provides workshop to make your own bear. Don't know why, but I felt such warmth as if all the bears were hugging me. They have a website which provides online purchase of bear..it's still under construction though: http://www.abearplace.com/.

2010-05-02T17:50:00.009+08:00

Went cycling at west coast park during my free time. While resting alone at the benches in the park and gazing at an expanse of blue sky, the world suddenly stood still. I started contemplating of events and realized that the cycling route in the park seems shorter. Could it be that I have been running all this while without being aware of my surroundings or could it be that as someone becomes older, you expect a longer route ahead of you?

As I cycled off the beaten tracks and took the dirt tracks, I paused to look at the shelter where I once sat with you in those lazy afternoon as we looked at the muddy pond. The flowers and creeper plants that formed around the shelter were long gone and were replaced by dense and thick green leaves. Many things have changed and in this changes, it strikes me that my loved ones are getting older and I am beginning to forget how one of my loved ones looks like. Maybe it's god's will that it's time to pause, reconstruct my goals and abolish the naivety in me.

I am not a fan of Taiwan's idol drama usually, but I am currently hooked on this hilarious drama - Queen of no marriage! I think it relates well to women, at least to me. And the situations are inherent in our daily lives. I laughed my ass off while watching the first episode when Shan Wu Shuang wore her high school uniform..OMG, it's classic.

Anyway, the story is about a 32 1/2 years old successful journalist, Shan Wu Shuang (Cheryl Yang) who has not been in love for 6 years after her senior (北极熊) left her. Her life starts to change when she meets a young punk (小草莓), Lu Ka Si (Ethan Juan), who is younger than her by 8 years. An endearing story that touches my heart.

Is there a serious barrier for a romance of an age difference of 8 years ? "A polliwog who is still swimming at the base of a pond sees his lady as a beautiful lotus flower. However, when the tiny polliwog becomes a full-grown frog and jumps out of the pond, he sees his lady as an old lotus root."

Now, I'm also officially dumping my Edward Cullen for Stefan Salvatore. The Vampire Diaries is a must-watch drama for die-heart male vampire freaks like me.

Diary of a Himono Onna 2

2010-04-18T16:00:00.018+08:00

Diary of a Himono Onna 2

People, I'm back. Remember I mentioned in my very much earlier post that I am in good progress of being an eligible himono onna? I think I already am. If you ever caught me at home in my pjs, I am sure you will scream and wail in disbelief. I have been mixing around with too many of my regular groups of bitches and female counterparts.
Have a good laugh. No sexist intention here. Click here

If weight issues are a serious nightmare for any female, I think that applies to me very well. Besides the mugging and late nights of burning that classical midnight oil, I have not been touching the weighing machine to see how many extra lovely weights I might have gained. And before I go screaming to Jean Yip or Marie France for help, I am going to buy a bicycle (by hook or crook) and exercise my way to fitness during this summer! So off you go..nasty himono~

Well, if life could be any more boring, I actually had a couple of drinks at Attica and Timbre right before my mugging to get my precious life back.

Some things happen to my dear friend over the week, it brought sadness and jolted me. You see, life is short and fragile, and the word "cherish" doesn't seem to knock any senses to me until serious bad stuffs happen. Tears can't bring back the past nor salvage a broken relationship with my loved ones. I'm not sure whether I have been laughing too much at how foolish I am, but some people say that I failed to open up and reveal my true emotions. Personally, I think secrets and memories are best kept at the bottom of my heart and be reminisced at correct moments.

Trumpet lilies, sweet williams and forget me not..all for the qin ming festival.

Going to start my internship soon..before that, it's time to enjoy and embrace what true life is ought to be.

Sharing with you a music piece by this wonderful new age pianist, Jon Schmidt. The song was replayed by my friend during our late night chiong-ing project session that left us all high. This song never fails to bring a different listening experience each time I hear. I love how the song transits at 3:44 minutes. Splendid!

2010-02-28T11:19:00.006+08:00

Two of my favourite songs from my iPod playlist recently. I love the lyrics, the melody and simply just how both songs are sang.

What a 1 week term break. Well, I think my schedule is even more packed than normal days. But at least, I managed to get a breather by spending time with friends and watching some movie. Rented this new movie, Love Happens, starring Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. I think it is one of the rare Hollywood classic romance which you just couldn't get enough of. Perhaps what strikes me most is how I relate to the story and of the character of Burke Ryan. I mean movie reviews are often subjective and even if this movie has received several negative remarks from critics, it works fine with me especially since I love how the messages in the movie are being delivered to audience like me.

Had dinner at Osaka Town with godsis, chilled at Timbre with Ying Jie and Li Hong, had dim sum session at Victor's kitchen, had steamboat at Chong Qing and savored dessert under the hot sweltering sun at Ji De Chi. Thumbs up at Timbre - Substation! The ambiance is good and I love the outdoor and vintage concept which is somehow quite similar to Dempsey. What I regretted was not being able to listen to the live performance. I will be back there soon and if I ever managed to find another true love, I think yes..I believe..that I would have great time with him there.

2010-01-31T13:58:00.003+08:00

What a tired week. I am pushing myself to another limit and although I have not reached the ideal frontier, I am without any restraints. Sometimes I wonder, who and why am I striving hard for? Nobody can I provide the answer, but I guess is myself and a future that propel me.

Talking about urban/city life and yes..I still have so much qualms about it. You start each day chasing for the bus, squeeze your way through the bustling MRT station, wait for the train to reach the stop, even when you are not squeezing others, others are bound to squeeze you, take a deep breathe and smell a whiff of anxious heart pounding and sour perspiration in the air. Hug tight to whatever assets (bags, laptops etc) you are holding and stand in a tight assigned spot of circumference less than 1.5 m and yet have to endure the inconsiderate people flipping the moulding TODAY papers right at your face. The train jerks and the sharp heels of OLs pierces through your poor toes and at the arrival of a next stop, furious people squeeze their way through the maze of people in an angry yet resigned to fate "excuse me...".

Is not the transportation's fault, then could it be people or even social norms? Rat race indeed. On a very tired and late evening, I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green. An idiot couple who both are impatient fellows was standing behind me. Unable to wait any longer, they forcefully made their way through the crowd and hit my right shoulder without a single apology or bat of an eyelid. Serve them right cos' a car nearly honked them for negligent crossing. If you think that they are rushing for time..no they aren't, cos' they were strolling and hugging each other like some leech in a muddy swamp.

These make me think of life and my purpose as a human being in this universe. Of globalization and urbanization..of society and humanity. So sick of it indeed~

In the midst of this frustration, paying attention to the art scene help me distress. I think my dad is the typical Lao Gu Dong from Channel 8 Happy Family. I told him how my life would be like if I had enrolled in LaSalle, Raffles design institute or even SOTA..and like an irritating housefly he slammed me right at the spot (scold all you want lorh~). If you think I am an odd soul, I am not embarrassed to admit that I am one who enjoy listening to the unique concept of world or new age music. Because of its scarcity, it make records such as Pacific Moon even more precious

2010-01-17T18:46:00.005+08:00

Had an awful stomach cramp yesterday with a couple of muscle aches. Horrible isn't it? I think my body is getting weaker and so I need to build up on my strength by exercising. I did the kundalina yoga few days ago and besides the body aches, I felt great and rejuvenated. Yoga really does help improve your breathing and body wellness.

As usual, I would be busier again. In the midst of those, I constantly try to understand the meaning of friendship and human nature. Ironic as it seems but by observing the characteristics and emotions of others, it reduces my stress level.

A motivational song for myself and you! (Enya - My favourite new age artiste). No matter what you're striving for or doing in life, may you find happiness in achieving them. Fight..fight..fight for..

2010-01-10T14:58:00.002+08:00

It's only the first week and I am overwhelmed by the huge workload now and to come. Looking at my schedule, I don't think I am able to celebrate CNY since all my tests and assignments are due that week. But after CNY, my life seems better and I can take a whiff of fresh air.

You know, I gradually kind of detest urban life, especially in the city. I can't help but to think that I am living a human life just for the sake of it. When I was younger, I used to aspire being a zoologist or botanist. Even till now, this dream of mine hasn't being forgotten..it's just hidden somewhere and something which my parents don't like me to do.

My neighbour who is same age as me is living in Bali after her wedding next month. Previously, I ridiculed this idea of living in such an ulu place..especially since we are still young and have so much more to achieve in life. But now, it isn't an insane idea and one of sanity because at least you find balance and harmony there.

There are things that I yearned for and questions which are left unanswered even till now. Of habits and characteristic of others which I revolt. Deeply, I know these can't be changed. Sometimes, when you don't have a mentor beside you, you just have to accept differences of others and to learn to do things for yourself rather than to please or impress others.

Anyway, I watched Avatar with Ying Jie and Hanjuan and it was awesome and delightful! I think it's a perfect display of the incongruence between urban people and villagers. HJ was so sweet to give each of us a handmade gift. Muacks~

2010-01-03T19:35:00.002+08:00

It's a new year and school is starting again. Last year, things and situations occurred unexpectedly. Some turned out better, while others took a bad turn. Obviously, of human nature I tend to be happy for good outcomes while I remain devastated over bad outcomes and responded negatively. I blamed everything and even myself. Why couldn't I achieve better..why couldn't I have done this and that?

It is not until I read one of my friend's blog that I realised that I should be thankful and grateful for what god has presented me with. Even in Buddhism, sufferings is due to attachment and attachment (desire, lust and greed) can be overcome. Constantly, I desire to be one of the elites..not even seeing where I am or even putting more effort. or patience. When things turn bad, I didn't even bother to reflect but crave for more. Even till now, it is difficult to think positively so I guess it takes time to cultivate a good mind.

So, here's my new resolutions/goals:

Better health
Family, friends and loved ones
Studies
Work + Money
Fit body by exercising and having a healthy diet

2009-12-27T19:02:00.013+08:00

Well, it's the festive season of Christmas this week and other than the serious plunge in blood pressure which left me nauseous and dizzy, I had quite a pleasant day with family and friends. The only thing lacking is a nice bottle of champagne or wine. I ordered a cookie and cream log cake from Angie The Choice - my all time childhood favourite confectionery selling one of the best cakes with fresh ingredients and fresh cream. My family had dinner at Jack's Place and although it cost a bomb, the food was awesome and the service was better than I had expected.

Oh no, school is starting and a new year is starting soon. 2009 had been a messy year of unplanned surprises, sadness, joy and experience. Right now, I do believe that my life is 30% similar to the plot of Korean drama. I am so caught in some entanglements that sometimes I do wonder whether I am thinking seriously...too MUCH for my own good. But I guess such drama will subside soon and my life will just be a plain boring tale to be retold.

I have been muti-reading few good books at one time during this short break. And I am damn happy that "The Desiderata of Happiness" by Max Ehrmann which I ordered through Amazon arrived on the eve of Christmas. So this book of short poems has added to my list of books which include:

Andrew Matthews, Follow Your Heart
Anthony Robbins, Awaken The Giant Within

Also, if I have the time during the next break, Allan Pease's book on communication and body language is a good read too.

I did some exercise lately and unfortunately, the weather was too cloudy in Dec to have my skin exposed to sunlight. I need sunlight or else my skin will be whiter than Edward Cullen..which is so OMG!

Other than running/jogging, I find thrill in things with wheels like blading, cycling or even skating! Is like after not exercising for so long, my body just feel hyper good from endorphin, sweating and heart pumping. Sadly, my dad secretly gave away my Raleigh bike (which I am kinda pissed) and forbids me from getting even a budgeted Alleoca bicycle due to space constraints.

A Prayer by Max Ehrmann

Let me do my work each day;

and if the darkened hours

of despair overcome me, may I

not forget the strength

that comforted me in the

desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright

hours that found me walking

over the silent hills of my

childhood, or dreaming on the

margin of a quiet river,

when a light glowed within me,

and I promised my early God

to have courage amid the

tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness

and from the sharp passions of

unguarded moments. May

I not forget that poverty and

riches are of the spirit.

Though the world knows me not,

may my thoughts and actions

be such as shall keep me friendly

with myself.

Lift up my eyes

from the earth, and let me not

forget the uses of the stars.

Forbid that I should judge others

lest I condemn myself.

Let me not follow the clamor of

the world, but walk calmly

in my path.

Give me a few friends

who will love me for what

I am; and keep ever burning

before my vagrant steps

the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity

overtake me, and I come not within

sight of the castle of my dreams,

teach me still to be thankful

for life, and for time's olden

memories that are good and

sweet; and may the evening's

twilight find me gentle still.

2009-12-14T02:45:00.007+08:00

Such an old song, but with so much emotion. The sentiments expressed in the lyrics isn't what I am feeling now just that I love how it is sang. If you have watched April's Bride (余命1ヶ月の花嫁), I guess you known what I have meant. Enjoy~

The Rose - LeAnn Rhimes

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

2009-12-06T16:36:00.008+08:00

Fruit Tarts from Fruit Paradise. I love the creamy texture and crunchy pie.

Evening sunset from my house

Sky scrappers from the windows of Dallas Cafe

Hoho, it's the the festive season again! I love Christmas. Anyway, after a long hiatus from blogging, does anybody miss me? Seriously, I do think of closing this blog anyway.

Recently, I have experienced so much ups and downs in life. In the surface, I may look gullible and innocent (which I hate it) or maybe I am a good actress. Like E. Goffman had mentioned as an analogy of our everyday life to the theatrical, we manage our social performance to provide others with certain desired and perceived impression of ourselves. So if you really understand who I am, you could have peeled the mask from my face.

I think the only thing that can calm my nerves is the effect of wine. Hopefully, I can master the techniques of wine tasting when I am older and RICHER!

Since the middle of this week, I have been meeting up with friends, chilled near the pier while enjoying a glass of champagn (so shiok) and visited my godsis's baby daughter. She's so cute..alright, I confess that I am not a baby lover. But my impression totally change when I touch her baby. So fragile and delicate. Just like an angel from heaven. When I touched her tiny hands, my heart just melted and I just wanted to shower her with all the love and care I could ever provide.

I watched the New Moon saga. Oh gosh, I am like an immature teenage girl who goes gaga over cute hunky guys. The movie plot wasn't one of the best, in fact the book is better. And I still have not read it yet. I heart Edward and Jacob. It does not make any sense to fancy a vampire and werewolf, but fantasy does bring you to another stress-free gateway.

Also, I am so falling in love with Sarah Brightman's latest album - Amalfi. A fusion of genre including classic, new pop and soprano.

Finally, I just want to share with you this wonderful video. Together does make a difference.

2009-08-30T15:55:00.006+08:00

It is time to start the engine and groove to the pace in school. Sometimes I doubt my competency level and get really tired and sick of everything. I wonder why I can't live my life happily or is it because my lacklustre life is missing that something exciting? Haha but in anyway, these are just some random thoughts. With more friends by my side, I think I would still be all warm and comfortable.

I was comforted when I received your call. Such exhilaration that could not be explained simply in words. Perhaps I really need an ego booster now at my deflated moment. LOL!!

And..oh no, at this state I think I am going to be a himono onna aka dried fish woman like Amemiya in Hotaru no Hikari. Will not be updating much until the inner storm has abated.

2009-08-16T14:40:00.003+08:00

Well, in the blink of an eye and school has started. I did enjoy my summer holiday and those fun things I did. The times I spent with my friends and loved ones. Being more observant of my surrounding which I was oblivious previously. Seeking inner answers of myself and the life that I want to construct. Learned new skills, did my CSP, read up books, watch movies and drama and spend time soaking/basking in the beauty of nature.

I love abstract art, films and objects because each time when you view them there seems to be a different answer. Especially when contemporary materials is infused with vintage works. Black has always been one of my favourite colours. However, things happened recently and black is portrayed in another perspective and shade of light.

Things happened for a reason and consequences follow causes. Happiness can be achieved if I strive hard for it without losing my bearings on the way..no conclusion or answer. The post shall end here.

2009-08-13T19:03:00.003+08:00

Was clearing my inbox when I came across this email from one of my prof during last semester. It was a long email message but of great words of wisdom to ponder on continuously in my life to come.

Adversus solem ne loquitor - Don't speak against the sun / Don't waste your time arguing the obvious.

There is a short passage from The Desiderata of Happiness by Max Ehrmann. I believe that regardless of religion, the faith of life is still shared among us.

Click to enlarge.

2009-08-06T01:39:00.013+08:00

Time does fly fast when life gets enjoyable and stress-free. School is starting soon and there are some kind of unexplained mixed feelings. Like what kind of weapons and armors should I prepare? Stainless steel, bullet proof and health potion sound good. Lately, I have been thinking a lot and being superstitious cuz I do not want history to repeat itself. And this history was my period of "Great Depression". But I am glad to say that I have overcome a regret. I no longer live in that world and I think the future does not welcome this tinge of sweet playback at all.

Some photos to share of a balloon sculpting and fund raising project which I volunteered few months back. Overall, it is a good learning experience and an enjoyable one.

The "Jo-is-gonna-puke" peacock during training sessions at Changi

The masterpiece after an overnight stay over at the freaking warm shopping mall

The display during finale event after much tremor

The tree that kids pull when they descend the escalator

The friendly snake with a gentle hiss

The monkey that I wish to bring home. Yummy banana~

Gigantic giraffe and chivalrous horse

Closeup of the white horse

Many aunties Lucy steal them even when we place the "Do Not Touch" sign..LOL

Finally, gifts from all my dearest friends for my early birthday celebration. Thanks!

2009-07-24T00:42:00.012+08:00

Wondering what to get me as my present? Ya..I know I am kind of thick skin and you may have something up your sleeves to surprise me with LOL~. However, this just serves as some ideas that you can explore more on. Or maybe nobody is reading this and I could use this as a reference to pamper myself in the future. Tag @ chatbox if you are buying any items to avoid clashes.

A mini cooper series. Yes, the color red is one of my favorite of this series. I know is bullshit talk here la haha. But a model MINI would be fine too..really!

Books: The Definitive Guide to Business Finance, The Intelligent Investor, Martin Zweig's Winning on Wall Street and Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Series of 3 Books.

Music/Soundtracks: Andrew Lloyd Webber's 60 Collection and David Foster & Friends.

Floral by Gucci.

Click on the links:

Bethesda Care
En Community Services Society
Christalite Methodist Home

Lastly, please support the project I am working at now. A kind donation and voluntary assistance can help the underprivileged, weak and destitute. While we constantly crave and desire for luxury items, these children, youths, adults and elderlys just hope for basic necessities in life.

I know this sound kind of cliche and a self-promotion event, but yes the greatest gift of life is to provide help and support to the less fortunate people out there when we still have the financial means. There are so many charity organizations and these are just the few. A greatest thanks and sincere appreciation from me.

2009-07-20T21:45:00.005+08:00

"They" rock my life and are quite generous too. Awesome-ness!
Bidding is peaceful at last..just for now.
Screw those paranoid people.

2009-07-12T21:40:00.003+08:00

Time does fly. It's my 100th post! As much as I would like to express my inner thoughts and feelings inside this blog, but lack of privacy is still the main thing, I do not find the idea of baring my soul and making some rude comments that amusing after all. Look at how much trouble bloggers have landed themselves in when the public expose their "dirty laundry" to all. So here..in my blog will just be chrolonogical events that only some will read.

Well, this week was quite hectic and fun. Even how much I go out, my mother will still chase me out of the house. Her reason being " get some sunlight" rather than "rotting". Sometimes I try to justify my rotting but often I just look at her with an evil smile. How contradicting it can get when school starts and she starts telling me to rest or else I will die of fatigue one day. So tell me where should I be now eh?

Being traveling..well, literally from the west to east for trainings. Is good to have a transport concession. Most of the time I disguise as a year one freshie and bond with them. Some of them are really smart..like they are scholar, doing double degree and from prestige JCs. Ask them why they choose this school and they will provide you with plenty of interesting answers.

Like one mountain is higher than another mountain..is good to upgrade oneself with new knowledge and value-added skills.

Mid this week, I was totally mad at myself and those kiasu people. Spoiling the market trend and causing great inflation. I yelled and cursed but in the end I think things always don't go as smoothly as you would want to. So ya..just treat it as a practice and gain experience.

2009-06-28T23:30:00.006+08:00

Had a poly gathering cum celebration at Kai Wen's 21st birthday bbq party. Nice food..cool ambiance and most importantly great hospitality. I said something which I ought not to express so wrongly and I got pissed over some issues. But great thing was that I managed to curb my fiery temper. Yet another episode of me not using my brain before speaking. Can I be less bimbotic? Tsk..must improve on this aspect of social skills. Witty and conducive discussion ya LOL~

And through the media, the news that Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett had passed away brought tears to many people including shocked fans from around the world.

Perhaps MJ would be in a place called Heaven which is better than Neverland..heal the world, make it a better place. Thanks for all the nice songs you have created and the Moonwalk. And Farrah would be reuniting with Charlie as one of the angels in Heaven.

On the very next day, my dear hamster passed away too. I suspect it was cardiac arrest that took his life. Being a staunch animal protectionist, it sort of tore my heart but at least he was not put to sleep. Is just old aged. With the recent big hoo-ha over the dog call Pom Pom who is abandoned by her owner and thrown into a bin, what can I say?

Just some horrifying but amusing entertainment news..which I will not comment on. I admire her flair for flowery words. Or maybe she is in a cloak impersonating Hermione Granger? Click here

2009-06-11T22:02:00.004+08:00

The long break has allowed me to ponder on myself. Of the things that I have done, mistakes that I have committed and things that I have experienced. I think life is a double-sided coin. There is bound to be gains and losses. While we embrace gains in life, how well do we react to losses? Situations where we fall into deep trenches. Do I swear of ill-luck, blame it on others, see it as god's punishment on me, curse of unfairness or accept it with poise and dignity? While I have something in life, I may have lost something. Of friends who will never ever able to be as acquainted with me as before, of things that have disappeared, of memories that have faded. I still regret it.

People always mention about moving on with life, to charge forward and that time will heal all wounds. But I guess it is never easy. I think I deem myself as successful when I can move on with life still remembering of the flaws, but not shunning/grimacing and instead smiling at it.

I have witnessed some of the oversea voluntary projects that my friends are executing. Some nights before I sleep with a full stomach, I wondered how many kids out there in the third world are suffering from hunger? Of the amount of food that I ate which could have make them happy and sleeping soundly. Johnny Depp mentioned that "Money doesn't buy you happiness. But it buys you a big enough yatch to sail right up to it." How far do you agree on it?

Have watched (rented) some great movies so far.

The Pursuit of Happyness - Was recommended by an enterpeneur-aspiring friend who attended Chris Gardner's seminar. A father's love for his son could achieve so much!

Twilight - A romantic vampire tale for female like me LOL~ Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen) is hot. His eyes ever so penetrating and bright. I think I am better off reading the novel instead. Fancy a blood-sucking moment from Cullen?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Again, Brad Pitt portrays a brilliant role as the dear old Benjamin. I felt so sad when Ben was unable to be together with Daisy. How is it like to be born as an 80 year old man and died as an infant..memories fading as you grow younger and slowly curling up as a baby on your deathbed? I think the OST by Alexandre Desplat is impressive too.

Changeling - A true story starring Angelina Jolie as the grief-stricken Christine Collin who lost her child, Walter. Blame it on the corrupted police force and the sadist who murdered young children. Christine never found her boy but was innocently deemed as psychopathic and locked up in the hospital before a trial was set.

It makes me think of it as almost similar as Sally Clark's trial where she was wrongly accused of murdering her child. This case was discussed during one of my lesson. Meadow's statistically independence theory of the 1 in 73 millions and how the Bayes' Theorem proved otherwise. And in the end...Clark was released in 2007 but was unable to recover from the aftershock of imprisonment. If you are interested and as boring as me, read on: Click Here

Sorry that I bored you with my countless rantings. On randomness, I am still waiting for them to reply. I am so impatient at this moment..I feel so unfulfilled.

2009-05-24T23:39:00.003+08:00

Had a nice dinner treat at Sushi Tei yesterday with YJ, HJ, QY, KW, YC, JP & Jas. Is a long time since all of us gathered together to have a meal and chat, but yes the fun is still there. Shop around and the gals had Mac ice cream after that. I could not eat..how sad it is. Then most of them head home/work while the remaining few of us headed to St James for partying time. Waited at the entrance for almost an hour before the bouncer let us in.

R&B to the max and could not get high enough for the correct beat as equivalent to trance. Music at Boiler room was good with the live band gigs, but music from Lady Gaga did not appear until quite late at the dance floor at power house. Bf and his crazy gang of people were quite high that night and the dance floor was super packed..and I smelled BO!! I am a hygeine freak and and that explains my abhor for BO.

Well, some reflection and thoughts that erupt on my mind. I was browsing through the book I bought for HJ and I read this phase "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith". I am not a Christian but this phase has appeared many times in obituaries. The meaning as described in the book truly inspires me. Another thing is..I am happy as long as you are happy and I know that you indeed are. To salvage the flaws of the past is just a deceit and a craving that is unnecessary of. Period.

2009-04-05T23:12:00.002+08:00

I still need more sleep..RAWRS! Two more weeks of mugging and I am free. Suddenly, I do not know how to mug and use my time efficiently. I am so used to the fast pace at school that given this break, I do not know how to handle it well.

The last lesson on Thursday left a huge impact on me. The speech by prof and head TA left me speechless and to ponder deeply on what I should do for the rest of my years there. The choices and decision you made and the goals in life. Obviously people are so familiar with the term "goal", but what does it truly mean? It makes me reflect on how underachieving I am and if others could do it too, why not me? In fact, I have given myself too much excuses and reasons to not be a perfectionist and to slack for a bad cause.

After mugging, will be my road trip to M'sia with team mates. Work hard then play hard.

2009-03-29T00:34:00.002+08:00

Jade Goody passed away while in her sleep early this week. Although she was a nasty person in Big Brother, but I was touched by the things she did before her death. Omitting the constant media's attention and scrutiny, I felt for her..not of sympathy but of emphathy. She was still young you see and she was the only celebrity other than Princess Diana whom I tried to dig out of her past. Perhaps it is because of the year 1981..a special year which I remember. May she be happy in heaven and freed from the sufferings of mankind.

Late this week, I made a confession and blurted out the truth after I saw one my group member crying for the first time. Death - a topic which is of taboo to speak lightheartedly of and related to fear. I walked countless streets and pondered on their perspectives of me. Sometime in certain situation, you feel a sense of unexplained emptiness of losing something. More often it affects female more than male.

I am at the verge of insanity lol. My friends commented that I am so drama and hyper in discussions. I just could not sit still. For a record breaking, I was in the library till 1130pm. How nice~

2009-03-22T16:31:00.002+08:00

Insanity at its best. A kind of deja vu too.

A dream to own Noah Art or to have an animal ranch.

2009-03-15T18:23:00.003+08:00

To be a superwoman.

Anyway, there's an Animal Day event on saturday, 21 March at my school campus green. Bring your adorable pets along and stand to win many MANY freebies. Come support this event. Any questions just feel free to let me know.

2009-03-01T00:09:00.003+08:00

I do not want to sound too paranoid or depressing but I do feel the global financial and economy situation really depressing and hitting us malignantly. Just few hours ago, the iconic Merlion head was damaged by a forceful lightning. On a superstitious ground, it is somehow a perilous predicament. It is such a rare incident that the probability of happening is 1 in after 30 years. Then you watched the news and the government mention that unemployment may reach a low of 5%. And GIC raises it stakes in Citigroup to 11%..converting from prefererd to a common stockholder. You scrurry to school each day to see people going to work early and leaving the office as early as 5pm. Families off their houses' lights as early as 1opm. What's happening to a our country? I feel the need to tighten my money seatbelt and prepare for a series of 'Great' depression or perhaps another AFC.

On a lighter note, I am pampering myself with a music and gardening therapy. I feel so guilty but my spirits are better. I realised I was not a good officer but I will try to learn from my own mistakes rather than blaming others.

Not sure whether anyone had watched the movie/musical Evita. It is such an old film that when it was first in cinema I was still in primary 2. Anyway our group watched it as our midnight movie for the sake of our project. I was so enthralled by the musical and characters of the film. Even our beng says the musical tracks from the film is nice lo. Madonna does a good job playing the character of Eva Peron..I am so dead in love with her character..she's a strong lady! Do listen to the lyrics of don't cry for me Argentina and you must love me.

But, I was also disturbed by people who are struck with terminal illness early this week. And that includes Jade Goody, I saw the picture of her dying marriage with her husband on the papers..the picture expresses such emotion that I couldn't explain. Nevermind that Goody is a racist in Big Brother show..but it seriously paints a sad picture of life. That life is such a fragile thing and fame and fortune is just a transient moment in life.

While doing some window shopping, I happened to pass by Gramaphone and bought this cd featuring Norah Jones and her producer - Peter Malick. It includes unrealeased tracks and remixes. I think is quite a good blend of blues jazz , bossa nova and tinge of DJ remix.

2009-02-24T11:50:00.005+08:00

I am so **^%ing pissed can!! Only managed to catch 3 hours of sleep and have to contain my irritation and anger. Just because of what..that they are big organizations and I have to deal with them professionally. Is not good been a liaison and communication officer at this stage but I think I am handling my emotions and feeling well enough. Something that I see as a positive challenge.

Don't bloody provoke a woman when she's having pms. haha..chill~

2009-02-23T00:12:00.002+08:00

Something is wrong with my blogger account. The time and date are kind of wrong, but hopefully this post comes out in ONE piece.

Anyway, it has been quite a hectic and enjoyable weekend. Despite the fact that I was practically emotionally and mentally tortured during the end of this week, I still think it is a good learning experience. The negative feedback during our class places everyone almost in tears. While I tried to deny the truth within my character, I was forced to admit it. I was so disturbed by it..can you imagine it that nobody dare bring it up to me for 20 years or at least dare. However, now I am thrashed with it. Yes, I do admit it but definitely I choose to bury it subconsciously. Indeed, it makes me reflect on my childhood and growing up years better..how I was influenced into this state. Senior TA left me a message..I was touched. I didn't know I was great but she comforted me with her words and soon..I realized myself through Myers-Briggs.

Met up with dear friends for KL, Shin and SQ birthday dinner. Thanks for the treat. It has been a very long time since I laughed so heartily and enjoyed all your company.

The very next day had to execute my group's gardening project. If you can ever imagined how unglamorous I can be..haha it gotta be today man. Such a nice rainy and stormy weather to do gardening and uprooting weeds. Gals if you know which part of the month you better not be soaked in rainwater..yeah it gotta me. 4 gorgeous babes been soaked from head to toe and 2 hunks digging the soil. When you are soaked in the rain, you tend to do the silliest things and gorge out the most disgusting things (ants' nest, worms, snails etc).

Nvm about the hard toiling part, we gotta visit the plant nurseries and eat one of the best bak ku teh.

2009-02-15T01:07:00.011+08:00

Went window shopping..agnes b and kate spade products are so expensive can. I love their brand and designs..simple yet sophisticated. While I can contemplate or hint any friend to buy me their bag or shirt during my birthday, I guess it is of better thrill to buy it yourself. It is a great sense of satisfaction to pamper yourself with luxuries items as you have the tendency to take good care of them. Anyway who would not reckon that branded stuffs are expensive? It is just a matter of time to move your lazy butt, work hard and earn more money or find a great job in order to enjoy such high living. But till then, times are bad so is better to save money for the rainy days.

Sat the Singapore flyers with yx on friday.Enjoyable trip which I appreciated lots but I feel guilty that I didn't buy a nice gift. I dunno what excuse I can give to justify myself except I am busy and poor..which is so lame lol. Anyway, enjoy the pics.

Flyers from afar

Golf Course

Changing lights of the flyer

Suntec City

Blurry view with Esplanade at the left

2009-02-08T13:43:00.002+08:00

Someone complains that the posts in my blog are too pessimistic and that my blog could do better as my life is not that uninteresting. Is it that gloomy? Being anti-camwhore, I don't like taking photos as my face either turn out too fat or my eyes are too small. I don't have the random habit of taking photos while on the move and having meals at interesting places. But perhaps my blog could do better with more photos and illustrations rather than juz words and...words.

I have so many essays and reports to do..so rather than mugging I have nothing else to update on. Is tiring and my English isn't that do so I do not how to craft my essays in a more convincing tone. I am buzzing to meet deadlines...buzzing to a well good end of April.

Again another someone says I am un-feminist. She claims that I do not support the rights of female and let those bunch of MCPs dictate our roles. Truth is I do support female rights but there are some insensitive stereotypes that are so common. It is better that you just ignore them rather than acknowledge them and risk flaring up. Such stuffs can no longer irritate me or at the least bother me much.

2009-02-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

There are so many things on my mind these days and I seem to be multi-tasking all the time. I dunno how some brilliant people from my school can juggle both CCA, friends and school committments so efficiently and effortlessly. To them, they would have less time and being more tired than many of their peers. But I still wanna know how they manage to do it and yes I am dying to know..it all still boils down to time management, effective studying and speed reading. But tell me..HOW to DO THEM?? It is seriously easier to say than be done.

I couldn't imagine myself falling sick this week. My whole body was painful and my head was throbbing. But yet I managed to drag my body to school and tolerate that bloody air-con. I was so in a 'give-up' mode that I just skipped lesson on the friday. Please if there's anything I wish..is just good health to tolerate all the schedules I have.

Planning and re-planning..exams, quizzes, essays deadlines, project meetings, CCAs and workshops. Oooooohhhh, just freaking leave me alone can? In addition, I am so worry for her, I am so into the pessimistic of life. I am fearing the worse as it seems I am somehow cut of all connection or contacts means from her. Please pray for her safety and may she survive all adversities. PEACE~

2009-01-25T22:03:00.005+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Just came back from my reunion dinner and am super full. I am so afraid to gain more weight over the new year la. Is so relaxing to be the couch potato again and watch programmes on the television for the whole day..the feeling is DAMN good.

This week is quite hectic and my eyes were kinda sore due to the lack of sleep over the few days. Managed to submit my first essay through Turnitin on the wee hours of friday night. Spent a whole day just to write this essay and I off my handphone and all electrical devices to avoid distraction. Prof told us that her A student hid himself in the toilet just to come out with a strong argument for his essay.

In addition, ahem..my "aunt" came and I was super exhausted and lethargic that I could even stand straight and sleep through out the train ride. Sleep to me is very important, it is like my elixir of life and of cuz my magic potion to beauty LOL. Assignments are piling high but again is never ending for at least 12 more weeks I guess so I am gonna dump them in one corner and till then..KIV first.

Went to visit the buddhist centre and the administrator told my parents and I some stuffs. Not being superstitious but it did apply to me though..gonna pray Tian Gong and have a water cleansing ceremony. She told us that female with their age of last digit 2, 6 and 8 and male 3, 6 and 9 must be wary each year especially when the age is their chinese age. Some years back I managed to "esacpe" from the chinese age but it came true for my english age. So ya, for dragon this year, it is better to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

Our TA did this poster for our group. Super hilarious act and I became the gay smokescreen?!

2009-01-18T15:36:00.002+08:00

Feeling so tired and sleepy these days. There are so many readings, assignments and projects to do..and it's only the second week! Practically have no mood to even do my tutorials. It seems so spectacular that our mind can come out with so many creative excuses to not do something rather than to do them. First, is the post traumatic syndrome..what's with all the mini coopers and mazda on the roads these day? Second, is chinese new year. Next, is my desktop cpu crashes and the monitor blanks out at the most unpredictable moment. What's with HP?!

There are so many question that I couldn't answer for myself..like what's the purpose in my life? Have this guy classmate of mine who's from Macau and he has somehow empower me with his words..anyway it makes me think whether people from City Harvest are that energetic and optimistic?

Met up with ying jie on friday and woohaa...we bumped into yc, shin, kw and qy at JP.

2009-01-11T12:23:00.001+08:00

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
-Thomas Edison

NVM. Try again lo.

2009-01-04T18:50:00.002+08:00

My first post for 2009 haha. Most people have resolution and new fresh plans for this year, but I am just gonna say it's just another year gone by. Everything is still the same, the world we are living in, the places we frequent. Things don't change when the last digit of the 4 numerals changes, things change constantly. The moment you close your eyes and await the next morning, there are so many changes around this planet. How many people dying of hunger, crimes, disaster be it big or small, birth etc while you are sleeping. I used to hate changes in my life especially sad ones or sudden shocking ones, but it is undeniably true that changes are happening to us faster than we ever notice..faster than the melting of ice caps but slower than the bullet train.

Perhaps I have been escaping from few things that struck me some 2 years back. I choose not to say them and do not have the courage to face these few things that blotch my past. Sound as if it's very scary eh..although it's nothing serious too. The past is always with us and it's time I stop running..just like that of archaeological digs. I was torn apart between choosing to pretend as what my relatives and parents told me to do so and talking to myself late at night as if a muse will hear me. Nonetheless, I will find the courage and as for you, I am happy that you are happy cuz I ain't good in the past. I still feel a slight tinge of melancholy when I see people having those sweet memories that I used to have but perhaps this feeling will subside when I grow to love myself and others more..and be a better mother in the future.

School is starting and ciao to all the fun and fantasy I had for 1 month. It has been a nice week..cycling, blading, watching movies, dinner and new year wishes from friends. The food at din tai fung was good and we watched Little Nyonya at Jas's house. It feels good to have nice friends whom you feel comfy with. As usual of an egoistic and thriving to shine Leo native, I want to work harder this year. Although people say I don't behave like a Leo but the Leo genes are in my blood somehow lol~ No more laziness but work and play smart.

2008-12-28T21:31:00.011+08:00

Well, it's the time of the year again to bid 2008 goodbye and welcome a fresh new year..the year of the golden ox. 2008 has been a year of changes and self reflection. I remembered welcoming 2008 with the friendly bus driver of bus 52 who greeted me with a "welcome on board and a happy new year" and doing my PED with jas, SQ and JX. Then it was graduation time from poly and everyone was frantically enrolling into uni. It was the hardest dilemma as I pondered on switching courses and to face the threat of starting all over again. Then it was working 5 months at Jefferies as a temp worker. It was there where I learn to respect secretary cum receptionist cum admin people. You know those arrogant high-"crust" and high-post people who demand stuffs from them and pile them with so many claim forms..groceries, food, medical and even pets and car!!?? Jefferies closed its Singapore, Dubai and Tokyo offices earlier this month while their client-Bakrie brothers is trying to clear its US 680 million debt with the help of Brentwood and ICICI admidst the credit crunch and financial crisis all to my shocking disbelief.

Then came August where the new school term started. It was then where I started to miss the company of my poly mates, the joy of discussing tut and gathering in food courts to have a nice lunch. The school tradition, jc people and multiple faces people freak me out and I realized how gullible I am. I did not do well this term and sometimes have the urge to withdraw. But I know I will regret one day if I give up this opportunity. It's tired there but I sincerely yearn and hope that at least I get to know a nice friend whom will share all emotions and burden with me. Just one and I will be truly contented. I hope God gives me a good reason to carry on here and the courage to achieve higher results.

So here I have a few new year resolution (wishes and hopes to be exact):

Family
License
Friends
Studies
Courage

This week was pretty fun and good. Did some christmas shopping, had a nice chat with yijia, received a nice log cake from her (p.s I am eyeing Rive Gauche's strawberry shortcake lol) watched a couple of nice drama and movie, celebrated christmas after 2 years and finally stepped into st james with sq and yx. So bear with me while I do a personal recount of my 'virgin' trip there. oOh I juz loved recounts.

We chilled at powerhouse but the music wasn't my heavy trance but more of euro housebeat. We hopped to the boiler room which had some liveband going on, the music was awesome and I loved the gigs. You can see beer dispenser been emptied within a few minutes. Next we went to dragonfly as claimed as cheena by yx. The music there was good to be exact but the crowd really a little cmi. I went to the toilet and there's this really cute auntie (I guess late 40s) who was shaking her body real hard and nodding her head to the dance beats as if she were high on drugs..hippy leh. It was sleazy there and sq said there are too many 'jian nu ren' there. It was then followed up by Movida which was playing some latin music . We escaped there super fast and returned to powerhouse with some drinks before hitting the dancefloor for the night. Finally the music was better with a mix of trance, r&b, techno beats, funky house and splashes of retro. I guessed I danced too hard that I bumped into people's butts. We truly sweated ourselves there and met up with some of yx's friends. Perhap Sq was just too 'hey, gorgeous!" and met a weird friend but he soon left..phew~

2008-12-22T00:00:00.003+08:00

Stuffs are good so far. Met up with my old friends, had dinner with loved ones and enjoyed a couple of good dramas and movies. Good stuffs end faster than expected and soon it is back to the battlefield. Sometimes I really wish I am not living in this place that I was born somewhere else. Somewhere where it's a better place, where life is an enjoyment and I can be amazed and bewildered by the splendour of nature, to globetrot and backpack to many amazing exotic places. But it is just a dream, a beautiful facade that is impossible in today's society.

There's one incident this week that pissed me, it made me such a fool to even pacify that person. Let's name that person as A. I called A politely to ask her when she wanted to buy the school books but it turned out I was free on neither days. It ended quite disgusting and horrifying. A threw wrong excuses at me, that I am never free to do stuffs and even attend the gatherings. A said that the sound and presence of me irritated her and she hung up the phone.

It made me sad and loserish that I always have no good fate to meet better and closer friends. A always has mood swing, sometimes she treats people good while other times weirdly hostile. The memories of secondary school and poly days brought back memories that when I reminisce will bringsback a smile on my face. But life in here just is bittersweet. People have so many faces that you do not dare to be nicer or even to trust them. When people tell you they will be late for 30 mins it would better be 2 hours. Well, let me not feel depressed or hurt by these people. In addition, my test results are not up to my expectation but perhaps a reminder that I should work harder. No matter what, I will still remember all the sweet memories even how minute they are. May god gives me the strength to smile through adversities and even if I have to die one day, at least I know I have live my life with smiles and not sorrows.

Another incident is on marriage. Broken marriage that strikes one of my friends. I just detest males who use a career-minded wife as an excuse to be bewitched by another woman. I believe that men who leave their good faithful wives would realise that sinful mistake one fine day. Sorry that I am a feminist but I am happy that in times of today's society, females are now in better position to fight for their rights as compare to the feudalistic times.

Learning driving is taking up most of my time now. My parking skills sucks big time but I will improve on it haha~ Anyway, auto car lesson is much better than manual and driving auto is much smoother.

2008-12-14T22:33:00.003+08:00

Holidays are good so far and how I really wish it could be longer. When you are working, there are no such things as a long vacation unless you take annual leave. Even as a student, although I adore long vacations but never have I dreaded that school reopens. But now, somehow I do not love school as much as before because I know it would be another long and tiresome battle of willpower and intelligence. If only there is such thing as home schooling for tertiary level. Or if my parents were super influential and rich tycoons, I would be buying all the exercises and tests answers for each semester LOL~

Life..what is life. Life is supposed to be LIFE and lively, just like the splendid life of mother nature, the beautiful trees, green leaves etc. But where is life here in this island? Neither do we enjoy the 4 seasons of nature nor we have the colours of nature scene. Except for the neat rows of trees or shrubs along road dividers.

Rather than whine that school is gonna be horrifying I better have start rectifying past mistakes and reading up soon. Anyway, I had a nice time on sat. I felt so light and easy..so at ease and at home. Had a few drinks at Harry's @ Dempsey Hill although some of them said their 'high-meter' were at negative. It was all quiet there as people are crowding their butts at the Zoukout event that night. Perhaps I will have the fate to visit stjames when it plays trance+euro house music. Was on my way home when I was some sort persuaded to go Indochine. In the end, headed down there to chill out and had frog leg porridge supper in the absoulte wee hours. Unhealthy lifestyle to be exact but it is somehow enjoyable once in a while.

2008-12-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

I randomly look through some facebook profiles of my classmates from stress management university and felt so out of place as if I don't belong to their culture. Their culture of drinking, partying, having active social lives with so many friends crowding around them and the countless sports and investment CCAs that they join. They are happy, they have the strong friends network, the ability to cope and the courage to speak up boldly in class. And me, I am like wheezing from the workload and even with one CCA but I still don't have the time to attend regularly.

What am I doing when they are partying and drinking at the artsbash @ Zouk? I am resting at home just after my last paper. I don't even have the energy to party till crazy right after my last paper. I will be pushing myself beyond my normal limits and finally collapsing in dire exhaustion after the finishing rounds. Since the hols starts one week ago, I somehow develop this desire that this holiday would continue for 2 months. At least I feel at peace now, away from the seminar rooms and dreadful concourse. I want to enjoy life and studies just like everyone of them but I am not the mould of theirs. Sad to say I am an introvert and it is hard to convert to an extrovert partying animal. It takes time and a change in my character "genes".

Tell you what peeps, I am sick of those English hip hop, rap or even RnB. It is too westernized here and I have resorted to a liking for canto and chinese songs instead. Trance is my dear which I never detest. Of cuz it is called trance cuz you go into a trance and high feeling with the reptitive beats and electric music. I am getting weird these days cuz some things happened to dear ones around me. I am feeling bad cuz I couldn't imagine life without them. Anyway, I am still blessed with great parents of mine. How much more fortunate could anyone yearn for. I just want to play, have fun and to live a simplistic life.

2008-12-01T14:32:00.006+08:00

Tests are all over which is a huge sign of relief. But the terror part of receiving the outcome of tests is terrifying. Previously, I know that even if I don't do well the outcome wouldn't be so bad. But now is all a different story. It is an extreme case and the effect of demoralization is 10 times worse. It is here where the catch-up effect theory doesn't work and my system is ever facing diminishing returns. What I need is a system that produces increasing returns. I hate the feeling of entering another battlefield after this break but I know I must repeat this viscious cycle for 7 more times. Things never come that easy too.

Anyway, my desktop crashes and all my hamster pictures are gone. I tried to save my dying compt for one whole day but only managed to recover some files. Fancy it crashing after all my tests..which is obviously a good thing. What is the worst nightmare..for me it is when your compt died at the 'unglamarous' moment.

Recently, I had many strange dreams and encounters and are all to do with men. Ok, I am not been lecherous or unfaithful here but it just came. First, was the dream of you marrying bro and I was the bridemaid. It was such a happy ending. If only it had happened and bro would really be my brother and I would be driven by a nice car for life..I mean bro is really a nice guy but too bad he's too old. Next, is my ex-crush in sec school. lol~ oOps fancy revealing that I had a crush during my younger days. I saw him across the traffic light 2 weeks ago and I saw him below my flats walking to the bus stop few days back. Although I only saw his side-view, I am sure it's him lo. And one of my neighbour even talked to him. Don't tell me he has moved into the same block as me and he's the relative of my neighbour? It's not the first time though..he and I were in the same OG camp during the first 3 months in jjc and same tuition group for 2 years too. Anyway my puppy love was for 4 years..can you imagine I was silly enough to be magnetised to this foolish game for 4 years. bleahz~

And talking about the recent Mumbai attack. My hearts goes out to the Singapore family who lost their daughter during the bloodshed. The other siblings mentioned that it takes time to sink in. But I am sure life would never be the same again cuz it is as if they have all lost part of their identities. Just like what John Donne said: Each man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind.

Bless the world and let's remove such hatred and unnecesarry bloodshed. It's just saddening to see people snatching other innocent lives. Let the grim reaper do so instead.

2008-11-16T22:41:00.003+08:00

My projects and reports are almost done, just some editing for a report and is all over. I am so happy can, finally I do not need to touch those stuffs for the "time-being". Anyway that picture was taken for my last presentation. All went fine and besides looking at our elated all smile faces, do take notice at our eye bags. I do not know how I manage to sleep for just 3-4 hours each night but I guess it is the urge to complete my assignments that compel me to do so.

I stayed quite late in school this week and some of my friends on msn even thought I was staying overnight. Over my dead body man! Anyway, some stuffs pissed me off this week and so to defend myself I retaliated by being kinda bi**hy. I couldn't care much too as I have no time to waste..there are bound to be such nasty people around here. But nonetheless, there are still some nice people and friends whom you really want to hug them tight. School gave us 6 bottles of chicken essence as our study pack.

Ok, that's all. I am going back to my sMugging.

2008-11-09T02:24:00.003+08:00

I am obviously paying quite a fair bit in "ERP Charges". There are people who are obviously in conditions who are worse than mine and I even heard from friends of some people who cried bitterly in library and in some quiet spots. It is of cuz great if people in a team or group work in a team, but life is never of strawberry and cream as there are bound to be slackers or last minute people who chiong like mad at some unconsiderable extent. E.g. to work till late hours and you have to forgo lunch and dinner, to come back on a freaking early sunday morning.

But I have learnt to be more appreciative of life. I try to cover my agony and de-stress even though I feel like ranting curses at them. Such situations and habit of people will not dissipate shortly. There are people who are less fortunate than me and if I am given this wonderful opportunity to study and gain knowledge, I shouldn't whine since there are many people out there who are also in almost same situation as mine. Furthermore, I am very satisfied that despite such stuffs,there are still some good classmates around. If I panic further then I will just wear myself out. I do not want to wear myself out so I shouldn't panic further.

Results and outcomes do not turn out fine for me..perhaps I even the bottom few. Obviously it is kinda depressing. But hey..given the fact that I still have unreleased potential then I should work even harder and SMARTER. There are people who laugh at you and think they will outdo you but never under-estimate yourself.

2008-10-26T23:02:00.004+08:00

Well, my terror week (Part one) has just ended. A 'chui' and 'xiong' week. Although I know nobody would be willing to hear or even read about my chronological events but I don't care,I still would like to post. wahaha~

Monday woke up early to discuss project then have fallacy presentation in the afternoon.Kena shoot by prof on my fallacies, tried my best to defend myself and someone did help me defend my point strongly to put stuffs across in the end. Tuesday woke up for morning lesson and weekly quiz. Had another project meeting at evening which ended at like 10pm. People still thought I am a part-time student while I carried my books and laptop on the last train home.

Wednesday was better and I spent most of my time to prepare individual project. Thursday morning had another presentation. That day was freaking cold and the air-con was at full blast. I was shivering bitterly while presenting. The prof told everyone to get up and do some warm-up exercise to fight the chill..pretty lame but it worked a little. As usual of the school's culture, our group was bombarded with Q&A from class. How do I describe this scenario? Well, it reminded me of 10 Mr Ong-s shooting us during our FYP for PED and at the same time grading our performance. Had another project meeting in the afternoon and was so super tired that I dozed off in the bus back home. Did a final 'chiong' to 'beautify' my individual project when I reached home.

Friday woke up damn early to have consultation with prof on our philosophy paper. Although I was really tired and the weather was too nice to sleep, I still had to forced myself to wake up. Couldn't quite imagine doing my philosophy paper without any help or consultation..don't feel any sense of security. Attended afternoon lesson then had another project meeting till evening.

Saturday I was a 'guai' student and mug at home for test. Discussed the paper with peers online and through phone. Brain couldn't quite absorb information but the thought of staring blankly at the difficult paper was enough to compel me to mug harder. Sunday was 'enter battle-field day' as I had to take the philosophy paper. Dunno why but my head was spinning, my vision was blurred and my heartbeat rate was very fast while I waited outside the hall. I thought I was about to faint or died. Perhaps I didn't have ample sleep the night before. After the test, had creativity project meeting and it was the most hilarious one. Two grown-up men playing with dolls and dislocating the dolls' limbs and head.

Well, that's my life and sorry if I bored you with my events. I am still tired, in fact too tired to even know the feeling of been tired. These few weeks would be crazy, at least crazy in my sense. Anyway, students are getting pissed off by the lack of sleep. Imagine coming back on a sunday, where's my bloody weekend? Anyway, thanks evil-fatty for driving me to school this morning.

2008-10-19T23:32:00.011+08:00

Well, my blog is getting quite dead these days..wahaha. Anyway, for those who are concerned on whether I am dead or alive, I am still pretty alive but drowning soon in the midst of all the datelines. This is really and indeed the start of my chiong-ing project and report period. I am so exhausted and nauseous from this chunkful loads of feeding process. But I am growing to adapt and trying to enjoy the process no matter how much I detest. Cuz I realize you have to enjoy such stuffs in order alleviate from exhaustion.

Before I start talking crap and in circle, hmm..I just watched this really cool movie on Enron-The Smartest Guy in the Room during one of my lesson. The Enron bankruptcy followed by the fall of accounting firm Arthur Andersen, what's next..a movie on Lehman Brothers? You know what, I love this nice phase from Jeff Skilling:

Professor at Havard: Tell me, why do you think you're intelligent and we should accept you?

Skilling: Cuz I'm f***ing intelligent and I am

Recently, I am very interested in Canto pop for dunno what reasons and into lolita fashion. Trust me, if there's a cosplay festival or something, I would be more than happy to dress up as lolita. Of cuz provided, I am dressing up as lolita with a group of people..yesh a GROUP (and I found at least one person who does share this interest). Lolita fashion is a damn hot craze but seriously..not everyone can dress up as lolita decently and yet be kewl~ and kawaii. Perhaps lolita gives me an escape from realistic world and into kiddy dreamland.

Love this..Gothic Lolita.

2008-10-12T13:21:00.016+08:00

That's the end of my break and the next one would be at the end of the year, a longer stretch one. Hoho~ Well, I should say one week does past very soon but at least I manage to get some good rest and need not wake up so early for lessons (despite the fact that I still need to return to school to settle some projects).

For those who are working, it's the night shift part. For those who are in NS, it's the training, physical and mental part. And for those who are studying, it's obviously the study and time management part. Each time we have class gatherings, everyone seems to have different topics to share and a common topic could barely last for as long as we did previously. I have to admit that primary, sec and poly days are the best years of my life, I even had time to cycle weekly. But now, such luxury of time and pursue of interests seem out of question though.

Recently, I realised some things which I didn't experience before. Some are shocking truths while others are part of 'adaptation mode'. I am not sure whether that lies in my character or instincts but I am glad I discovered them early and am able to curb such stuffs from progressing erractically. Let not my mind be over-occupied with such study stuffs, I mean life is more than that. Is about music, arts, sports, culture and even food. Not sure whether anyone watched Accuracy of Death, but I agree with Chiba..the grim reaper, that one of the greatest invention of human is music. Chiba is a good grim reaper and even if I were his subject of death, I wouldn't complain just as Kazue didn't complain.

2008-10-05T15:47:00.005+08:00

Many things happened..ok, not many in the sense of MANY but maybe some of MANY. Things that concern myself and of people around me. Sometimes life is so full of unexpected surprises and why do people only cherish nice moments when they are in the brink on losing them? Good times spent with friends, enjoyable and carefree life of yesteryear, happy times with closed ones. Another thing is procastination. Everyone faces that in some period of life and it occurs to me often when I am too tired of the workload or projects. I just want to rest and although I am feeling nervous and succumb to huge sense of urgency, I just keep telling myself, it's ok I will get back to it later and finish it soon.

Monday left me confused with all the thinking skills (If P then Q equals to P only if Q, if not Q, then not P, not P or Q so not Q or P). Can you tell me whether I have some common senses? Then wed mug for test and thurs was a utter disappointment. Mediocre student. I realised something is really wrong. The great amount of hard work or mugging you put doesn't equate to similar successes. You have to adopt good SMART study habits..lame ya? But something I am trying to work on.

Something is also amiss. Although I am really emo and feel the world crashing with the need of burrowing my head into the sand pit, I still don't give a damn and can still present my best smile to people. Something is really wrong with me I suppose so.

Some thing to cheer myself. I was a 'secretary' for my group project as assigned by that bunch of crappy guys. They say I should be a secretary cuz I am a female and cuz my handwriting is better than all of them. Have you ever seen how an Engineering student writes notes and arranges meetings.

Matilda Tao <=> Me?? sobz~

Also, I saw a great email by shin. Wonderful one, it's so inspiratonal although the meaning is logical. We just miss some good simple stuffs sometimes. I love these two.

"If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see",

"If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in life".

2008-09-28T13:40:00.002+08:00

1 more week to my 1 week break. Break..bREAk..BREAK? When did I resort to counting down to record my term break? The only time I ever recalled doing so was during my 6-months IAP where I counted months, followed by weeks and finally days. Not actually a break though, in fact I am pretty sure it would be booked with proj meetings and stuffs. Hope to book more driving slots during this period and catch up with homework and stuffs.

Learning driving is in fact..a burden which I want to clear and be rid out of my mind soon. Each term would be tougher and busier with no qualms or doubts. I have already advanced book crash courses in year end. This is actually my very first time planning my weekly schedule that 'extrapolate' to months. Which means I am a poor time planner all the time being..oOps.

Class ended early on thursday and I had a proj discussion in like 2 hours time. One of them had to have lunch with his guy friend at Raffles..and it was then that I notice this particular friend of mine is really brilliant in networking and socialising. I am all by myself for 2 hours so I dragged another friend to have lunch with me. After lunch, he went to the carpark and drove his Peugeot Convertible home. I am stunned and perhaps a country bumpkin to create a big hoo-hah on such stuffs yeah?

I had shopping spree which turned out to be book spree I guess. Roaming around shelves of books..nothing else to do too.

Celebrated JX birthday on friday and it really had been a long time since I met her. Nice chatting up and again we went to kinokuniya to read books and stuffs.

2008-09-21T16:37:00.005+08:00

After a long sleep, I still feel lethargic. Sometimes I do wonder whether constant input will gurantee constant output or even desirable output which is deemed possible. I guess the problem here is smart study just like street smart. I thought I am prepared for lesson only to be bombarded with questions or scenarios that I don't know. And I do realise I have short attention span and words that the prof or other students are saying just become a lullaby. There are many terminologies and world affairs that I do not know and my answers are unproductive. Some kind of general knowledge idiot huh? Before I fall victim to myself by self-blaming, I guess I should get use to this transition and start reading more newspapers.

How do you learn more? By being more thick-skinned and less egoistic? When people around you know the answer but you don't, just ask them even though you know they will realise you're asking dumb questions duh. Productive class participation by being less self-restricted and open minded. Accepting challeges as possible self-improvement. Often easier to say then to be done.

Are there anything else to do rather than just talking about group projects and assignments each day? Get some life man. Life = CCAs (not inculding club politics). I had a nice time on Friday eating snacks before CCA and listening to a talk on student exchange programmes to overseas. Osaka and Kyushu!? It's quite interesting to see how one emcee speaks in Jap and the other in English. And Sensai was way kewl~ and polite to give out the certificates. Had a nice walk at the Henderson Wave although my legs ached. If only life can be simpler and more enjoyable.

2008-09-07T02:29:00.004+08:00

What am I doing at this hour of time? Well, saturday morning was a pleasant day to start with. I was snuggling inside my blankets and listening to the rain splattering on the windows. It has been such a long time since I really slept so long and without any stuffs bothering me. No school, datelines, phone call and sms to greet my day. When things get too busy sometimes, I tend to realise how a good rest, a nice meal or cuddling in my nice old bed could bring such joy and pleasure to life.

Projects are coming in chuckful loads and assignments are piling like nobody's business. I have been reading articles and journals with the help of my yellowed dictionary. So many things to remember and yet I feel that my brain's memory space is like preserving in how many gozill-ion prehistoric years. The brain working system seems to be creaking like some old rusty parts of an old watch and even reading or analysing texts seem taxing. I feel super lethargic or perhaps lazy??? these days.

Many people post me this question "You sure you can suvive?" And my answer is always in that partially yes/no kind. You either give up or carry on. It's like you're at a stage of life or path in which you keep falling and crawling back. Nothing to cling on except your own knees. Well, professors keep calling on me when I prayed hard that they not to. Been ridiculed as some of the class were giggling away at my nonsensical answer. It started fine until the prof post me another tough argumentative question. I was stunned and gibberish. But hmm..applauds myself ba, at least I manage to speak up. lol~

Friday started learning driving on the road. I didn't bring my PDL (can u believe it??) and the instuctor was so kind to drive me back home to collect it. I drove back to bukit batok and my feet were trembling. Why..because I was been forced to drive at a speed that I deemed as dangerous. But anyway, it was a fun fun experience. Then chill out at Dempsey Hill that night. Nice night spot though.

Misia is here in Singapore for her concert on 13th!! I am so excited but I have no tickets to watch her performace although the Jap Cultural Club offered me the tickets at a really discounted membership rate.

2008-08-31T01:24:00.003+08:00

When a rubber band is being stretched, how much can it be stretched and when would it eventually snap? But the problem now is not about preventing it from snapping but more about stretching it more and at the same time ensuring it doesn't snap. There's this thing which I keep hearing from others, "It's not about trying to adapt but forcing yourself to adapt. You MUST adapt. The strongest will survive. That's the culture here." A survivor game, something you may ponder or question on. I was shagged by friday that I am slacking now.

Few weeks have past and I have yet to participate actively in class. I know I should listen and analyse how the rest ask questions and provide answers. But it has been weeks and if I don't make my first squeak, I will not catch up and my participation marks will dwindle to a terrible pitfall. Alright, I manage to participate on monday but it was a flop case..but at least I try to. Each time I listen to those jc ppl (not stereotyping, but it's a fact) or law student providing superb answer and intelligent questions and the prof praising them, I feel that I gotta squeak at least, but my mind just couldn't think and my tongue was tied.

Econs lesson is the CHUI one. No notes or tut, just plain discussion through out and reading discussion paper or journal. Prof assigned us grp mates and I landed myself with 3 guys. They were super enthu and serious can..they discussed like some economist/cabinet members/parliament talk. The topic was on GDP, threshold and ISEW. It's alr a dry and serious topic and the way they discussed..it was like a heated argument. Then there's an Indian guy who presented his analysis on the topic by drawing graphs. I was whoosh~ by his analysis..brilliant guy! Could you imagine how famished I was after that lesson, I exercised my brain cells like never before. Or perhaps my brain is rusty.

Lotsa self-reading, critical thinking and essays to write. I feel myself studying English now. I miss my Engineering equations, diagrams and mass balance. Just let me see PFD or P&ID and I would be so happy. Why am I choosing this and why am I here? aRRgh

The only highlight this week was the freshmen bash at zouk on thursday and the Jap Cultural Meeting on friday. The zouk thingy was not that fun, I just entertained myself with cranberry vodka..some people were boozing on dunno how many jugs of liquor and shots. It seems like a culture to drink exceSSively here. I left early as the mood wasn't right. Nihon-go, the only thing that interests me for now. Some seniors were friendly there though, at least I don't find myself entering another battlefield.

I should stop comparing by abilities with that of others. Competition spur me so. Suddenly I form my own encouraging words..some birds fly higher then the other birds. They soar in the sky while the rest are just beginning to flap their wings. But eventually all the birds will fly.

2008-08-24T00:39:00.003+08:00

The start of week gives me the blue
A competitive environment that frightens me
Till I have the urge to visit the loo
I sit in class without a clue
Hands waving and popping up continuously
The passion of participation reflected in them
While I listen blankly
At the end of a day
I know oh damn..
I have to study smartly
Somehow effort will pay

Stress Tired Lost Depressed. I will not go on with a long complaint list of my current life. It's fairly understood among each and everyone of us. Four years..if I weigh the marginal benefit and cost of these years of life with that of another life I would rather prefer, years of bitterness will eventually reap the sweetest fruits. Something I hope of and tears of utmost joy if I can foresee success. May God be with me.

Met up with Jasper and some poly pals for his post birthday. Thank you for been there for me and sharing my burden. Even how tired I was that day, it was worth it. I watched Legally Blonde as suggested and knew what message you were trying to infer. FAITH.

2008-08-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

School is officially starting next week. I feel a sense of dreadfulness and unexplainable excitement which I have never experienced before. I do not know how I manage to survive working in different office environment both at pandan gardens and raffles. But this time round, I know I have to survive four years and it's the adapting to new environment part which is tough. I have been too complacent and immature in my thoughts and feelings that I didn't see the need to anticipate such issues and challenges. Nothing is easy for the start and if others can do it without so much qualms as me then the more I should tap on my inner energy and strengths.

Just like some of them said..step out of our comfort zone. Over the past few months I have been so busy preparing for schools stuffs and meeting up with long lost pals that I do not have enough time for myself. I feel that I didn't have enough rest yet and all of a sudden time past extremely fast and here I am. Time seriously slips like fine sand and flies without noticing.

And my birthday just past. Thanks all my friends for remembering it and poly mates who organised the event. Received lotsa presents and I felt like a small kid receiving gifts from santa claus. Such warmth and exhiliration. I was late for the event..not giving excuses but just that the school stuff ended later than I expected. I will work hard and make full use of the school fees that my parents paid. It's no small sum too. Of cuz I will get you your gucci bag which you wanted..after four years and when I get my first official pay.

2008-08-10T21:14:00.015+08:00

Went for acad briefing on monday early in the morning. 2 of my friends were saying how streamlined the admin manager's body was but he really ressembled our lecturer..Mr Phua. Then attended lessons at BBDC and was the lab rat for the air-bag test. I was super shocked and alarmed can! None of the gals wanted to do so and the instructor juz asked me to volunteer for this activity. I really regretted learning so late cuz when school starts I don't even know how to plan my schedule with all the project and stuffs. Should have done so when I was in Poly. If only and only if.

Met with camp's group mates for lunch on tuesday to discuss on the bidding. Not all turned up but those who were impt and in the same grp as me did turn up..so it doesn't matter. Discussed whole night till wee hours on msn on what courses to bid for. Since I am not that smart and capable, I didn't bother to bid for statistics or else I would have 5 exams..perhaps I should allocate some time to adjust to life there first.

Bidding is scary, really very tiring and scary. I would be in a class filled with strangers and still have to speak up. This alone sums up my trepidation and fear. But some comfort is that I would attend lessons on the first day with someone I know cuz we managed to bid what we wanted safely without using too much e-dollars. Sometimes I do wish to have another person by my side and to feel all the warmth and comfort at such critical moment.

Did my community service with P1 and P2 kids and they are all super adorable. Awww, how I wished I could be a primary or sec school kid again and celebrate National Day, Teachers' Day etc. It's fun and those were the happier days of my childhood. Some of them were awfully cheeky and I shouted till my throat was dry and husky. But overall, they are CUTE. Maybe I should be a nanny or kindergarten teacher when I retired one day.

Had dinner and movie on 8 august, auspicious date. Nice dinner at Sakae Teppanyaki but rather ex. Watch Money No Enough 2 and it was a nice local production by Jack Neo. Touching film and I think the mother and Ah Hui (Henry Thia) were wonderful casts. Although some ideas he used in the film were skeptical but overall still a worth watching light hearted family-movie.

Guan Yin Mama, please give me the strength and power to carry on with life. May the force be with me.

Lastly, some piccies from the camp.

First lunch

Being carried dangerously

They fed me poison and I foamed

Look at the back.. CMI faces

Briefing before rafting out to sea. The guys commented that our instrutor looks like those soldiers during Jap Occupation.

Testing 123 for our life jacket

Out to sea

The first few to come out from the tunnel. Dark and gross inside.

2008-07-27T01:03:00.006+08:00

In about 30 hours time, I would be packing my bag and heading to the teambuilding camp at ECP. ECP..a place of sad and happy memories but of cuz mostly an enjoyable place to relax. Just hope it don't rain and is a sunny weather through out as I am freaking scare of cold temperature. I am dreading and excited, I some sort know what can of bonding games they would be playing. So juz soaked in the fun if possible.

Ended my temp job on second week of July. Indo hottie shook my hands and gave me a side hug. G stood in front of my desk and told me about uni life..and his lips are so pinky red as contrast to his tanned skin. P congrats me tat I'm leaving the company (kinda tough there ya?) and gave me a sweet OL smile. Finally, I manage to pronounce the guy from capital marketing propery..wee teck.

Manager's busy work station..where I sat on my last day

Some files I work on..mainly to chase ppl to make payments for outstanding invoice balance

Trainings and briefing from uni. Library training..one funny day. Woke up late then rush to the LKS Library. Randomly printed out the time slot without looking at the correct date and time. It was on tuesday and I came on monday..wth la. However, I was saved by a saint librarian who offered a place for me for the afternoon session. Met a gal from NYP who looks rather like Hanjuan. Socialise with her cuz I got a gut feeling that she's from biz and Bingo. The library facilities are realli like NP except we have excess to plenty more complicated stuffs like Bloomberg, journals and huge databases. And here begins my life of reading papers and journals, very General Paper kind of style.

Course briefing another chui one. The whole career services team super enthu - more enthu than all of the students. Internship, community services, career etc bombarded my brain that day. Splitted into separate teams to finish a quiz. My group very vibrant, had many smart guys and gals and of cuz some pretty ones. Couldn't quite clicked with some of them but managed to know few from TP, NP and VJC. Finally, attended the SlamDunk online portal guide. My ears had some problem that day and I misintepreted the name of the gal from VJC as Cat Lee when it was supoosed to be Kenli. And I even went on to ask her, "Oh, so ur name is Cat?" Then each of us was assigned a facilitator. The male facilitator was kinda interested in Cat and of which I didn't know until the very end. He kept asking her questions and I kept interuppted them as I thght it was some kind of group talk. I was like O.O and -_-'' when I realised that I was interuppting them so I talked with my Indian facilitator more instead. The person encouraged us to talk and told us that the school is about talk-talk-talk in order to survive in seminar-like classes.

After a day of seeing so many smart and pretty gals in my course, I soon started developing some inferior complexity. I gotta survive~

Business Class Boarding Pass?? as claimed by the Career Service Dept.

~Citizens of the School

My new bf ..he is cute can.

Haha, like real as if I had one. Anyway, Miyavi is going on his music tour for his This Iz the Japanese Kabuki Rock Tour. Love the way he dolls up as a female, so versatile. Reminds me of Boy George but of cuz I perfer the Asian version more. Kabuki is a flamboyant traditional sing and dance performance in Japan and that explains the exaggerated costumes and make-up Miyavi is wearing.

2008-07-18T19:16:00.002+08:00

Flunked the QET, which means I must enrol for Academic Writing..which means my English sux and which means eating into my normal study hours and finally it's also means a good time to polish my English. How nice.

Went for Day 1 community service at Sch of Accountancy today and seriously everyone (including me) is just kiasu about completing the complusory 80 hrs community work asap before mugging deprives us to do so. Met 3 gals from social sciences and got this bonding-feel. It's a crazy day as we walked around campus bare-footed and with our hands soaked with paint. When can I ever form bonds with gals from the same faculty as me, I am very lonely and lost ya.

Just a light note to add, my seniors from biz are extremely gorgeous or at least fashionable. Panting and wheezing~

2008-07-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was history, the future is a mystery and the present is a gift.

I miss you and I am EMO can. Please come to my dreams, Ka Jie. I miss your cigaratte, your alcohol, your Escada perfume, your smell and even your fart. Is been almost 20 months. Perhaps you are already gone.