Settling down with my next phase of life. Life after graduation is challenging yet similarly fulfilling (asides from the fact that I need to wake up freaking early every week day). Apart from my interests, I have to learn to work on things that are beyond my usual scope of work and some involve immense amount of responsibilities and the need for meticulousness. 

A quick check on my blog page view shows that I have top readers from US!! Surprisingly unrealistic given that I am based in SE Asia. So glad that I have overseas page views too.
 

And so I officially miss school. I asked most of my friends on whether they felt the same as I do, but they gave me the matter-of-fact answer that they will not. I believe in my four years of education in a city campus with all the vibrant city life, going to school is sometimes not that boring. Entering this school was also one of my most difficult decision given that it was an unconventional route for me. There were many ups and downs and struggles, but I did not want to gave up. Friends here basically fall into two categories: Superficial and genuine. Of course, I only remember the best memories I had here. Inspirational classmates/friends and professors whom I have met and taught me some of the more important lessons in life.

Now it is time to embark on the next phase of life. Looking back, I realized how much everyone around me has grown up and changed. I do not think learning shall cease upon this journey. Instead of learning in the context of a classroom setting, every day brings the most opportunities of self-discovery and eventually shaping who I am.

Recently, I had to make some decisions. Those kinds that are tough nuts to crack. I told myself that I wanted a utilitarian approach. Some are settled but there is still one which bothers me much. Then I chanced upon a book while walking aimlessly in a shopping mall. A book titled "Search Inside Yourself" by a fellow Singaporean who works in Google. He calls himself the jolly good fellow and offers insights into Google program of increasing productivity, creativity and happiness. I am still in the course of reading this wonderful book and what I enjoy most is his simple approach to meditation and mindfulness. The power of it is boundless and I believe it will help set the direction of riding against negative emotions.

I think this is the exact moment of time when patience and optimism are required. Nobody, including myself, has a clue on when the waiting game is going to end and it is the fear that it will take longer than expected. Comparison with peers is a matter of fact and it is the awkward moment of saying that you are still leading a sort of "vagrant or loafer" life. Nobody likes being a loafer and will want to accomplish or at least, have a sense of achievement. Of course, the options are always open and to persevere. That is something which I have to constantly drill in my mind. It is during difficult time when my mind needs to be strong in order to dispel all negative feelings.

During my free time..being watching a few good rented movie to prevent my mind from wandering too far. One is The Lady and the other is A Simple Life. Both are based on true recounts of people.

The Lady describes the inspirational story of Aung San Suu Kyi and her husband, Michael Aris. Suu wanted to have a peaceful quest to lead the democracy movement of Myanmar (Burma) but was met with endless ordeals and long separations with her husband and two sons. When her husband was in his deathbed, Suu was faced with the dilemma of staying put in Burma or returning to London and barred from entering to Burma. After years of house arrest by the military regime at Yangon (Rangoon), she is finally liberated and able to receive her long-waited Nobel peace prize of 1991 at Oslo and be reunited with her sons. The film may lack the depth of depicting this female protagonist in all her political movement, but it has demonstrated the true courageous and respectable spirit of Aung San Suu Kyi.

Some of her famous quotes include "You may not think about politics, but politics think about you", "We shall not respond with violence under any circumstances" and " Please use your liberty to promote ours." 

A Simple Life describes the story of Chung Chun Tao a house maid to the Leung family in Hong Kong and who served Roger, the young master of the Leung's. As her health deteriorated, she was unable to work anymore and opted to stay in the old age home. However, that did not deter Roger from visiting her. As their relationship grew deeper into a bond of Mother and Son, Roger had to deal with the fact that Tao will soon be leaving him and how much she actually means to him. In life, there is always the cycle of birth and death..of birth, old age, sickness and death. How do we deal with it or even expect to treat our parents when they are old? Subsequently, we will all be old one day. 

I am learning how to breathe slowly. Recently, I have noticed how my breathing patterns change as my mood fluctuates. Been enjoying traveling experiences with friends over this month and I am falling in love with it. If I could add one best thing as my hobby/interest and it will be traveling. It is during traveling where my heart seems sedated and my breathing returns to normal.

There are many things that are caught up in my mind lately. Hiccups, mistakes, etc. In addition to these woes is the LDR which is taking a toll on me. Both of us are dominating creatures and he refuses to admit or bow lower unless he thinks it is his mistakes. Sometimes he unintentionally speaks harshly and hurts my pride or ego. As a Leo, I have to admit that I am quite prideful although I usually do not exposed it much and I act too independently such that he feels insecure. Being a little superstitious, my aunt told me bluntly that he is an imperfect match according to our Chinese horoscope, or what she calls a "power struggle of two hot-headed creatures". I do want to give up on this yet and he knows for sure that I will never be the "feminine or household woman" that he mistakenly saw in me through first impression, rather I am, to his displeasure, quite a fiery iron-fist woman (野蛮女人).

Unknowingly, in love relationship, the ride for me is bumpy. I never openly admitted to that previously, but I guess at this grand old age of mine it is nothing to be afraid of confessing. I miss the boats twice or maybe thrice and pick myself up each time it does not work. Unashamedly, I am also envious of the sweet relationships among my friends (some of them already engaged) and long for a day where I can make traveling plans with my love. Is these all hard fate or just a ordeal from above to make me stronger? With a positive mentality, I am sure I am able to deal with it. I just need the courage.

Battle hymns of the dragon lady?

Is been quite some time since I visited blogger and realized that the layout has changed a fair bit. Just returned from my 1 week Bali trip and it is indeed a land of paradise. It was such a sunny island and the artifacts and architecture of the landmarks are so ancient and magnificent. People who have watched the movie Eat Pray Love starring Julia Roberts will have agreed on the traditional feel and beautiful scenery around Bali, especially the sea and beaches! 

It was great companionship with all my friends and I felt myself rejuvenated amongst the nature. Seeing, feeling, smelling and even hearing nature! While most of my friends are mainly shopping types, I am more of an adventurous and sightseeing type. I can spend hours snapping photos, admiring the fine stone sculptures and getting my hands dirty. Although the Balinese are not the most friendly people, I have to agree that they are seriously good in arts and food. While I sat on the car buzzing along the streets, I witnessed stretches of Hindu and Buddhist deities stone and lave sculptures in shades of white, grey and black. I learn some interesting facts of the culture, demographics and basic etiquette of Bali from our local driver/guide. For example, most people in Bali are Hinduism, there are no buses or trains in Bali so locals usually travel by motorbikes, scooters, cars or bicycles, do not enter temple if you are menstruating or have bleeding wounds, and do not step on the canang sari (morning offerings that include palm leaf, flowers, herbs and incense stick to the gods) as it offensive to the locals.

The most exhilarating or perhaps near-death experience was the water sports activity in Nusa Dua Beach, near Kuta Bali. I had my monthly you-know-what (heavy flow) and was not in my best shape that day. Yet, the beautiful beach was beckoning me to stop hesitating and join in the fun for all activities, including para-sailing, jet ski, donut, banana boat and fly fish. First, it was the jet-ski. Initially, I was little apprehensive about the speed of the motor jet and my driver was a mad fellow who made sharp turns. But I grew to love the excitement and told him to drive at full speed and make more turns and bends. Turns out that he fell from the jet and I was the wettest among my friends. Next, was the banana boat. The driver, perhaps assuming I am a thrill-seeker, made the biggest/craziest blow to our boat by jumping and flipping it over. We sank really deep into the sea. I almost drowned as my life vest was little faulty and the waves were huge, but the driver managed to pull me up the boat. It is no joke and I have to thank Amitabha for hearing my prayers and saving me since all of my friends also had quite a mouthful of salty sea water. My Bali tour agency friend told me that the best beach with clearest/turquoise water to visit, be romantic and scuba-dive is the Padang Padang beach. Bali has one of the biggest and nicest waves suitable for surfing.

While trekking up Mount Bedugul to visit Gitgit waterfall, located at 300 meters above sea level, everyone had rough encounters with chest tightness (probably due to high altitude) and mozzies bite. Being a little adventurous, I attempted to climb over the slippery rocks and soaked my tired feet into the rapids. Unbeknownst to me, the sole of my slippers had already wore out and I slipped twice. The scariest thing was the leeches lingering in the still water that wanted to feed on my blood.

When I returned back home, it was a cruel shock of reality. Faced with the transition stage of seeking a stable career and supporting my family, I had few arguments with my dad over money issues. It was a scene of intimate strangers. Kind of a contradictory term but we were not talking to each other for few days despite living under the same roof. It was also the first time in which I was greatly disappointed with them. But reflecting on it and after talking to my godsis, it is just my insecurity and stress over this transition stage of unknown outcome.