At a time when I falter and question myself, I receive kind words from some of my friends. Although they are just a few, but I am already satisfied. They gave me the encouragement and perhaps they might not know, they actually provide me with assurance that the path I am walking on is worth it.

One late night after there was no bus and train, I was flagging a taxi and the taxi driver uncle mistook me as a Chinese national (PRC). Even when I tried to correct him, he was still bewildered until I started speaking in Singlish and he switched on the car's interior light to clarify. But jokes aside, I am still sort of cheena and I like Chinese philosophy and history. They are so rich and deep in meaning.

Took a Chinese history and political class many months ago and I like how Lao Tzu says about been satisfied with oneself. In chapter 33 of the Tao Te Ching, it says:

知 人 者 智 ， 自 知 者 明 。 胜 人 者 有 力 ， 自 胜 者 强 。 知 足 者 富 。 强 行 者 有 志 。 不 失 其 所 者 久 。 死 而 不 亡 者 寿 。

Loosely translated in English: Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing oneself is enlightenment. Mastering others requires strength. Masters oneself requires might. He who is satisfied with his lot is rich. He who acts with vigor has will. He who continues with the requirements of his position will endure. He who lives out his day has had a long life or longevity.

I think many times in life we will only come to appreciate what we have and enjoy the richness of life when we come to understand the meaning of being satisfied with our own lot.

It has been raining cats and dogs these past few days. Having a cup of hot drink or tea and listening to some soulful music are the best remedy to keep me awake.

I don't know whether I should feel sad or question the flaws in my character, but I have never felt so overwhelmed with such emotions that it sort of demands self-reflection. When I was younger, it was just purely of "I don't want to friend you," but now it is more of a "oh..that bitch." From my previous posts, I did mention about these few ladies whom I have met in my summer study trip.

With powerful social media and constant FB updates, even if you have no intention of intruding their lives, you are bound to accidentally read/see their comments/photos and the plain fact is they are excluding you from whatever activities they are doing "loud and clear". Not that I will fancy joining them too and I could have ignored their amateurish moves, but I just wonder what I am as a friend to all of my existing friends? What is my first impression?

Heard this rendition of Jayesslee's cover on dare you to move as a dedication to the people of Thailand. I remember listening to this song in the movie "A walk to remember." A slow and poignant movie that reflects the innocent teenage romance. What should I say? These girls are mesmerizing and I am in love with their sincere singing voice. Pray for the people in Thailand's flood!





An old album - Corrinne May's Shelter. What I want to achieve as a friend? Just as the song says, "I'll listen when nobody gets you, you don't have to be alone. Promise me that you'll call my name..let me be an answer cos' it hurts me to see you this way..I wanna ease your pain..let me be your shelter, my friend." If only every friendship can endure the evolving dark side of humanity and be a warm shelter to every friend in need.

Without proper mindfulness, the greatest sufferer is myself. When a person experiences happy encounters, greed and lust set in. You want more of it, yet you are afraid that they will be gone soon. However, when a person experiences setbacks, self-serving bias kicks in. How many failures does a person need to gather in order to be successful? It took Thomas Edison 3000 attempts. Mistakes are made but lessons are learnt. When similar mistakes are made, who are we to blame? A question that haunts me.

Sometimes I gazed upon the brightest speck of star in the dark sky or the moon by the window, thinking of you. It has been 5 years since you were gone and I say a prayer that you are happier. Free from the sufferings and smiling. On this special week, I dedicate a poem to you..from my favourite poet - Max Ehrmann's Song.

The night is here and through the sky
the stars are creeping;
The tired day has closed its door;
My heart is sad and I am weeping;
I see her face no more.

"Oh stars," I cry, "send out
within your golden gleaming
This message to my only love.
Perhaps she, too, is sitting dreaming,
With eyes that look above:

"Here, dear heart, how often
I've sat in summer weather,
Alone with stars and dreams anew;
The stars will bring us yet together,
I breathe a prayer to you."

And then my one-week break is over. It was busier than I had expected with more project meetings and commuting to school more frequently than any other weeks. Other than lessons, at least I managed to watch a couple of rented DVD movies, catch a few good dramas, and had ample sleep over the weekends in my scarce yet adequately sufficient spare time.

Well, I also did enjoy good old times with poly friends. Had dinner at Lao Beijing (where's my Peking Duck??), chill over beer at Mt. Emily, and had almost a buffet dinner at Sushi Tei.

I felt so much like a grumpy pregnant woman earlier this week, probably due to PMS symptoms. My mood flared up to such high levels over the earlier week that I almost had the tendency to curse people. But such negative mood is never a means to see things objectively, and I do admit that I have overreacted.

It's good to know that people and friends are also supporting you when you are merely sleeping 4-5 hours each night. Despite of any religion, I felt tranquility and motivation when friends send sweet sms or quotes to perk me up.

I love this one the most. How true can it get when I felt so much in a daily rat race. Click on picture below to enlarge.

Been listening to emo songs these days. Not because I am literally being in an emo state, but that emo songs sometimes relate to your own personal experience or the singer sings it with such emotion that it somehow has the "stickiness factor" in your mind and evokes such melancholic sentiments.

Well, as the semester progresses, I am still feeling quite stressed despite taking fewer modules. Perhaps you would ask me that how could this be? There are many factors - mainly personal pressure, the need to spice up my resume, more challenging coursework, etc.

Heard this at Tseun Wan's Neway Karaoke previously. Was on my way back from the toilet when I heard someone singing this song. I almost had the urge to barge into that room and asked, "What song is this?" If I had done so, it would be another story. And so the story ended that I didn't intrude into that room and it took me so long just to find out the song title and singer.

Janice 卫兰 - 大哥 (Elder brother). The MV explains how a female has a secret crush on her best male friend, but the male friend treats her as his little sister all this while. It is now in repeat play mode in my music player and sometimes, it just bring tears for some nonsensical reason. Truth is, 我都系不需要大哥啦！可唔可以忘记辈份再追？ The lyrics are meaningful.



Another song is Mag Lam 林欣彤 - 洗澡 (Bathe). The MV explains the painful experience of a relationship breakup to the extent that the female metaphorically, does not bother bathing, grooming or eating. I think this song has demonstrated Mag's powerful vocal and has also blended well with the song melody.