My final holiday break is about to end soon. It will be my last long holiday before entering the workforce.

Spent the last day of 2011 with my godsis and her family. Playing with her 2-years old daughter made me so happy and I just wanted to provide her with everything within my means. It also made me ponder on whether I will want to start a family and take up the responsibilities of being a mother and a wife. After dinner near Chomp Chomp area, I headed for countdown with a bottle of white wine and great view overlooking the harbor.

Sometimes, I think I am too much of a freedom-seeker that I detest being tied down by anyone. I want to do things and explore places without informing anybody and at my own free will. I guess nobody can ever pull the reins over me and if he or she is able to do so one day, this person must have captured my heart. So, the question is whether over the years to come, I will want to step into a relationship?

At times, even I myself am afraid of who I am. Not that there is any existence of DID, but when I choose to seek freedom or independence, I will want to be isolated from the rest and choose to disappear from the stifling crowd.

Over the previous year, I did stuffs that I previously had no courage of doing. While there are usual up-and-down, every year is a time to learn and gain new experiences and knowledge. For this year, I set aside resolutions as I take the bolder step to transition from a student to being a potential OL.

Study and Career
Financial Planning
Family, Friends and Loved Ones
Tone my body (Achieving toned arms)
Being Closer with my Religion

Nom nom mum mum..eating my bowl of strawberries



Tech-savvy! Touch screen to the max. Future career women in the making.

Recuperating from the wound of my wisdom teeth. Many plans were stalled and time was mostly spent on the bed. The first day was the most terrible as I had a bout of vomiting spell after consuming the medicine. It was a grossly mess and drinking water was another task. But things improved and the wound is healing. With one more teeth in a risky position, the dentist refused to extract it and I am left with the option of seeking more professional opinion.

My HK group mate and buddy has returned to HK and is asking me to visit his country soon. Looks like I will be having a tour guide to introduce me to more good food and shopping deals when I returned. It was quite a "cross-cultural" experience for my project as this time, we had group mates from Spain, Germany and HK. The Europeans complained that local food is too oily and consist of little raw vegetables (they like salad) and the HK complained about the long waiting interval for trains and smaller portion of local food.

With the recent triple breakdowns of our local transportation - the railway, it has invited the public intervention of the Committee of Inquiry which has only conducted two public questionings so far.

Social media has mainly painted a negative picture of it and there is huge public pressure for its Chief Executive to step down. It is appalling to realize shoddy routine checks of the railway surfacing and feeble attempts of service recovery prior to the second breakdown..of which was later greatly rectified. If we take a look at PA system of railways in HK, they are announced in Cantonese, Chinese and English and staffs are stationed adequately to facilitate even minor problems such as in my case, unable to locate the control station and accumulating enough railway reward points for a free single-journey to Disneyland.

While it is quite first-dimensional to blame the highest person in position for such serious disruptions, I believe what the transport analysts had said is right - to learn from operators in other cities (rather than continue pointing fingers). A public transport that has so many stakeholders involved requires good management style, empowered employers and org communication that efficiently facilitates its structure. Of course, I will want all repair works to be done faster haha (although the technicians and engineers have to work even harder..salute them) so that my traveling plans will be least affected.

At a time when I falter and question myself, I receive kind words from some of my friends. Although they are just a few, but I am already satisfied. They gave me the encouragement and perhaps they might not know, they actually provide me with assurance that the path I am walking on is worth it.

One late night after there was no bus and train, I was flagging a taxi and the taxi driver uncle mistook me as a Chinese national (PRC). Even when I tried to correct him, he was still bewildered until I started speaking in Singlish and he switched on the car's interior light to clarify. But jokes aside, I am still sort of cheena and I like Chinese philosophy and history. They are so rich and deep in meaning.

Took a Chinese history and political class many months ago and I like how Lao Tzu says about been satisfied with oneself. In chapter 33 of the Tao Te Ching, it says:

知 人 者 智 ， 自 知 者 明 。 胜 人 者 有 力 ， 自 胜 者 强 。 知 足 者 富 。 强 行 者 有 志 。 不 失 其 所 者 久 。 死 而 不 亡 者 寿 。

Loosely translated in English: Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing oneself is enlightenment. Mastering others requires strength. Masters oneself requires might. He who is satisfied with his lot is rich. He who acts with vigor has will. He who continues with the requirements of his position will endure. He who lives out his day has had a long life or longevity.

I think many times in life we will only come to appreciate what we have and enjoy the richness of life when we come to understand the meaning of being satisfied with our own lot.

It has been raining cats and dogs these past few days. Having a cup of hot drink or tea and listening to some soulful music are the best remedy to keep me awake.

I don't know whether I should feel sad or question the flaws in my character, but I have never felt so overwhelmed with such emotions that it sort of demands self-reflection. When I was younger, it was just purely of "I don't want to friend you," but now it is more of a "oh..that bitch." From my previous posts, I did mention about these few ladies whom I have met in my summer study trip.

With powerful social media and constant FB updates, even if you have no intention of intruding their lives, you are bound to accidentally read/see their comments/photos and the plain fact is they are excluding you from whatever activities they are doing "loud and clear". Not that I will fancy joining them too and I could have ignored their amateurish moves, but I just wonder what I am as a friend to all of my existing friends? What is my first impression?

Heard this rendition of Jayesslee's cover on dare you to move as a dedication to the people of Thailand. I remember listening to this song in the movie "A walk to remember." A slow and poignant movie that reflects the innocent teenage romance. What should I say? These girls are mesmerizing and I am in love with their sincere singing voice. Pray for the people in Thailand's flood!





An old album - Corrinne May's Shelter. What I want to achieve as a friend? Just as the song says, "I'll listen when nobody gets you, you don't have to be alone. Promise me that you'll call my name..let me be an answer cos' it hurts me to see you this way..I wanna ease your pain..let me be your shelter, my friend." If only every friendship can endure the evolving dark side of humanity and be a warm shelter to every friend in need.

Without proper mindfulness, the greatest sufferer is myself. When a person experiences happy encounters, greed and lust set in. You want more of it, yet you are afraid that they will be gone soon. However, when a person experiences setbacks, self-serving bias kicks in. How many failures does a person need to gather in order to be successful? It took Thomas Edison 3000 attempts. Mistakes are made but lessons are learnt. When similar mistakes are made, who are we to blame? A question that haunts me.

Sometimes I gazed upon the brightest speck of star in the dark sky or the moon by the window, thinking of you. It has been 5 years since you were gone and I say a prayer that you are happier. Free from the sufferings and smiling. On this special week, I dedicate a poem to you..from my favourite poet - Max Ehrmann's Song.

The night is here and through the sky
the stars are creeping;
The tired day has closed its door;
My heart is sad and I am weeping;
I see her face no more.

"Oh stars," I cry, "send out
within your golden gleaming
This message to my only love.
Perhaps she, too, is sitting dreaming,
With eyes that look above:

"Here, dear heart, how often
I've sat in summer weather,
Alone with stars and dreams anew;
The stars will bring us yet together,
I breathe a prayer to you."