On the last day of 2012, I usually did a little practice with myself. Sit back and think of all the happenings for the year. Flashes of sad and happy encounters started appearing and I am thankful that I am still sitting in this room typing this blog post. I have survived all challenges and therefore, am one baby step stronger. Perhaps the pivot of 2012 was during the second half of the year, whereby I graduated and entered the workforce. It is easy to be caught up in the midst of work and routines such that I forget that I am suppose to constantly do personal development and apply my knowledge to work. Surprisingly, such knowledge is getting rusty. Time to take action. 

I am glad that I came across and read the book "Search Inside Yourself". I think it is necessary for me practice mindfulness given that I am living in a fast-paced environment and have a temper which will flare easily or being too attached to my emotions. A blog post also explains to readers on how finding ourselves through meditation will build our resilience. It succinctly wraps up the distinction between feeling about my feeling and being them (which I often do so). "You are not your thinking. You are the person watching your thinking. That little distinction is the difference between feeling your feelings and being them — and it's critically important. When you feel anger, you're in control of what you do next. When you are angry, you've lost control." 

Inc.com also shows 9 daily habits that can make oneself fee happier. A great start or resolution for the new year. 

#1 Start each day with expectation

#2 Take time to plan and prioritize

#3 Give a gift (word of thanks, encouragement, politeness) to everyone you meet

#4 Deflect partisan conversation

#5 Assume people have good intentions
#6 Eat high quality food slowly
#7 Let go of your results
#8 Turn off "background" TV
#9 End each day with gratitude

Looking back at 2012 resolution:

1. Study and Career - Career is still in progress
2. Financial Planning - Took the first step in managing my finances and still in progress
3. Family, Friends and Loved Ones - I think I done this well, except in love relationship
4. Tone my body (Achieving toned arms) - Bought exercise equipments, but require longer exercise regime
5. Being Closer with my Religion - Can do better!

For this year, I set few more resolution. Some an update of existing ones.

Career
Financial Planning for Personal and Family
Exercise More
Well-Balanced Lifestyle
Understand Love
Understand my Religion Better

Back from my first one-week business trip to Vietnam. I am still a fresh greenhorn in the corporate world. So much to learn from all my colleagues and top management people on how to interact and present myself professionally. In fact, I still act much like a student. The landscape there is pretty much of similar resemblance to other regions in Southeast Asia such as Bangkok. The people are generally friendly and soft-spoken. Somehow each time I returned from an oversea trip, I will have many thoughts. 

I visited the animal farm, harvested my crops and ate them fresh from the farm, and had occasional business conversations with the locals and some foreigners. The traffic there is, to my opinion, very congested. There was no proper traffic system and pollution was prevalent in the cities. People had to wear mask while riding their bikes. Crossing the road, to foreigners like me, can be quite a challenge. Sometimes, back at home, we adore order too much. I appreciate the government's effort in regulating such order in our society, especially the transport network. Yes, we often complain about the train breakdowns, packed trains and congested traffic during peak hours. But at least, traveling from place to place is often a breeze with the well-connected train networks and recent opening of the circle line. Crossing the road, even on a busy day, is safe due to the countless pedestrian crossings.

We do not own much natural resources in our homeland. As a result, I am often worried whether future generations, including myself, will miss out on what mother nature has to offer abundantly. It is quite a sad plight to see young kids glue to their electronic gadgets rather than enjoy the nature. While I laze, sip a warm cup of Vietnamese tea and enjoy the cool breeze in the farm, I realize how detached from nature I have become due to my constant living in a concrete jungle. At night, I explored the bay just opposite my hotel and was amazed at how beautiful it is as compared to our artificial waterways. I like how other parts of Southeast Asia have disorderly streets, bright neon lights and random shop houses emerging along the stoned pavements. Back at home, we are able to view the scenic developments at Esplanade and Marina Bay, but it is through this disorderliness that we see vibrancy and zest in life. It is an irony given that I am person who likes orderliness.

I read few news articles about locals' wish to be first in the Happiness Index (comparable to Bhutan's??) and an increasing number of our population living abroad. Living abroad, as reported, has its perks such as work-life balance and a less hostile/competitive society. I also watched 2 episodes of The Successors on CNA about 2 equally bright ladies from Philippines and Indonesia respectively who have the vision and bold spirit to advance their businesses.

(1) Higher Happiness Index (2) Living Abroad: Work-Life Balance (2) Feisty Ladies Who Succeed in Their Businesses. What do you see in these 3 points? Do you see a trade-off or there is not? It daunts upon me on what I want to see myself to be like in the many years to come. I admire how some women can carve a successful career and yet be equally committed/loving to their families and children. To me, in order to be a complete woman, is to have a compassionate heart, loving family and sensible kids. I believe these are sustainable options that will benefit society even till the day I died.

Things are getting odd lately. With the burning question of getting marry and having babies from so many people, it bears a hidden pressure and a standard reply of "I will when I have found my partner." 

If requirements on a male partner is a dependent variable on age, then a female's requirement on finding an ideal partner will tend to decline as age progresses. And with the worrying figures that many highly-qualified females are single even at the age of 30s and 40s, what promising picture does it paint on society? Am I demanding too much than what I can swallow?

I guess not much people know the exact situation of mine and to divulge it is rather a tad embarrassing. It does not help if your parents keep asking insensitive question as if to broadcast your sorrow openly. The truth is I am jealous that he seems to be doing fine even without me. Or maybe I think too much on the details and I am just being an obstinate and too conservative woman. For now, I could not agree more with this statement, "Be wise. Treat yourself, your mind, sympathetically, with loving kindness. If you are gentle with yourself, you will become gentle with others." You see..negative thoughts and being too dependent on others are killers and being unattached can also be happy too. For who is to be blamed for mistakes made thrice? Go to the beach, go do some exercise, go and open your social circle, go get some life..you silly girl.

Settling down with my next phase of life. Life after graduation is challenging yet similarly fulfilling (asides from the fact that I need to wake up freaking early every week day). Apart from my interests, I have to learn to work on things that are beyond my usual scope of work and some involve immense amount of responsibilities and the need for meticulousness. 

A quick check on my blog page view shows that I have top readers from US!! Surprisingly unrealistic given that I am based in SE Asia. So glad that I have overseas page views too.
 

And so I officially miss school. I asked most of my friends on whether they felt the same as I do, but they gave me the matter-of-fact answer that they will not. I believe in my four years of education in a city campus with all the vibrant city life, going to school is sometimes not that boring. Entering this school was also one of my most difficult decision given that it was an unconventional route for me. There were many ups and downs and struggles, but I did not want to gave up. Friends here basically fall into two categories: Superficial and genuine. Of course, I only remember the best memories I had here. Inspirational classmates/friends and professors whom I have met and taught me some of the more important lessons in life.

Now it is time to embark on the next phase of life. Looking back, I realized how much everyone around me has grown up and changed. I do not think learning shall cease upon this journey. Instead of learning in the context of a classroom setting, every day brings the most opportunities of self-discovery and eventually shaping who I am.

Recently, I had to make some decisions. Those kinds that are tough nuts to crack. I told myself that I wanted a utilitarian approach. Some are settled but there is still one which bothers me much. Then I chanced upon a book while walking aimlessly in a shopping mall. A book titled "Search Inside Yourself" by a fellow Singaporean who works in Google. He calls himself the jolly good fellow and offers insights into Google program of increasing productivity, creativity and happiness. I am still in the course of reading this wonderful book and what I enjoy most is his simple approach to meditation and mindfulness. The power of it is boundless and I believe it will help set the direction of riding against negative emotions.