It has been 4 years since your demise
But your departure to a place called Heaven
Has elicited the truth of life

You have taught me
To be steadfast in my beliefs even through adversities
To hold on to my dreams
To believe in God

The angels have called upon you sooner than we've planned
But we will brave the bitter brief that comes
And look to the Heaven in the night sky above
You will always be here
For there really is no end

"要放下就要先舍自我， 不然自我愈强，就愈不容易放下。愈无执著者，自我就会渐渐减少，当自我减少了，才是真正的放下。"
- 慧门禅师

"人的心灵宛如一面镜子，能映照出世间的美好。当明镜蒙尘时，如不及时清扫，人将 会失却真我，生活也将处处呈现烦恼尘埃。地面经常清扫，才会有干净的院落；同样， 人的内心需要时常反省，才会有干净的生活。"
- 周利槃特 Ksudrapanthaka (扫心地)

The above religious quotes were excerpts from a magazine that I've just read. I always believe that no matter what religion one is from, God/Buddha/Guan Yin is the pillar of strength to my life. My mother used to be Catholic, but ever since 4 years ago, we converted to Buddhism. I hope that one day I could be reunited with religion & you and find the reasons to my life's ordeals and journey.

Lately, I'm disappointed with people around me and even myself, but I think it's time to lower my expectations and accept what everyone or everything is. But what I realized most is the gift of life. Had some eye viral infection few weeks ago and was given dosage of antibiotics. It soon turned out to be a mini nightmare! First, it was the swollen gum..next, it was the flu..then the cough with blood in my phlegm, the blood pressure plunge..well, it all practically snowballed during my mugging period.

When life is getting faster or spinning without control, it's good to listen to music and seek refuge in religion. At least for me, they help. I don't know when I become a great fan of Hayley Westenra, Libera, and S.E.N.S. Quite strange, but I didn't "dodge" or fall asleep while listening to such songs.

Finally had some good sleep (as if I didn't sleep for few years) few days ago and had a great dinner with poly friends at The Queen and Mangosteen yesterday.

There are so much more things to learn in life and while being grateful to be able to learn and be "refined", I am lazing on my couch thinking of my next move.

Why, why, WHY?

Have you come to a point of life where you've so many questions to ask yourself? What makes me where I'm today, what's next, why do I feel sadness, happiness, jealously, why do I think in such an optimistic/pessimistic manner, etc. As I ponder on such questions, sometimes I feel even more depressed. At other times, I feel proud of myself.

As I grow older, I tend to recognize feelings which I haven't experienced previously - call it a sign of higher alertness level. Do you associate certain feelings/emotions with certain imagery or memories? If an emotion appears for a purpose, how do I cultivate my mind to respond positively towards it?

If only I had ask more "why" questions to my academic, rather than contemplating on such questions on life...which sometimes (I think) is a waste of my time. But how could I when such questions keep surfacing whenever I experience different emotions.

Anyway, I think this is a clever advertising from Breast cancer foundation and DDB. "Are you obsessed with the right things?" A question that sets me thinking, but more importantly, are the images that draws my attention when seen a second time (the swelled nipple).

Is health or pimple/big butt/bad hair day more important?

Goodbye summer, welcome fall. Somehow, I have the sudden irrational urge to go overseas. No matter where it is, I want to go as far as possible. To start off with, I'm not that independent and I'll rather travel with a bunch of friends. Since I'm done with my internship, the next stop is to do a business study mission trip, exchange, or even overseas voluntary program in the next summer. Could I or could I not? I guess it all lies within myself.

For now, it's just school. Each year gets tougher and more challenging. I need the motivation and I believe it's my family and religion that spur me on. Sometimes, the vision gets blurry; other times, I see the beacon of light.

Had a post-birthday dinner with YingJ and LH at Billy Bombers. Nice dinner and companions. I like my Betty's roast chicken and Ben&Jerry's strawberry cheesecake waffle.

I've 2 songs/jingles that I can't get off my head..ahh!

I so happened to pass by the music store and bought this album right on the spot. P.S it was the last CD on the shelf.

Rimi Natsukawa's Toki no Nagare Nimi Wo Makase (時の流れに身をまかせ) from the album of Utasagashi - Asia no Kaze (歌さがし～アジアの風):



Indigo Blue's I'm the One:

I can't believe school is starting. Need to be fully-armored again. Why do I still have the jitters? I guess it all comes from the madness and random shocks. But I think as a comfort, I could cycle in the park when my "rubber band" is snapping.

As it's the seventh month, I am forbidden to cycle as my qi isn't good. So for my safety, I think it's much better to cycle after the seventh month is over. My skin is getting whiter and paler and I look like a vampire! Was supposed to cycle on Monday with YZ, but due to the stomach upset, I didn't go.

Had Kichi Kichi at Takashimaya with Poly friends. It's a nice place to relax and have your food served on the conveyor belt. Not much of a fancy meal, but the service there is good.


After the meal, we watched Angelina Jolie's Salt. An action-packed movie about a Russian spy/CIA agent, Evelyn Salt, who transformed from a cold-blooded spy to a heroine. I think it's AJ's seductive figure and swift fighting moves that save the whole movie. Even as a female, I think she's hot.


Rented another movie, The Blind Side. I think it's one of the best movie that I have watched this summer. It's based on a true story on how a Caucasian-American, Leigh Anne Tuohy, took a black, Michael Oher, as legal guardian. She then guides him to become one of the most successful American football offensive tackle.

Went for dim sum dinner and had some drinks with bro yesterday. Talked about botox, marriage, and even Geylang in the 1980s.

Well, in short, I found this summer break really short. Particularly because of my internship, I didn't get to relax much. But sometimes even learning can be much fulfilling, especially when you're learning something that you like.